6 things you need to know about senior dating in 2025
If we’re thinking about love, we often imagine young couples holding hands, lost in their own world.
When our minds wander to older people in love, we picture partners for life; two people who have spent so much time together that they’re practically intertwined.
What we may not envision are seniors actively participating in the dating scene. And while this can differ from our younger dating days in some aspects, love is still love – even above your 70s (and beyond!).
So how is dating later in later life different? Who should be paying the bill, what should or shouldn’t you be talking about, and of course the age old conundrum: when is it appropriate to kiss your date?
It can be a minefield for anyone and as we get older, it can be even more confusing. Maybe you last dated in your youth but are now single and finding it difficult to re-enter ‘the scene’. Or perhaps you’ve been looking for a companion for some time, but find that meeting people in your ‘golden years’ is a whole new world.
We’re here to talk about the unwritten rules of dating for older Australians and how to help you find your ‘perfect person’.
Senior dating – a first-hand account
Joyce is a lovely 92-year-old Feros Care client who has experienced dating in later life.
As we sit down to talk, she recounts memories of a high school friend, Jim, who – after becoming widowed many years later – contacted her again.
While the two were never together in high school and that didn’t change 60 years on, Joyce recounts the memories they shared during their school years and those they made together again more recently.
In the seven years from their reunion to Jim’s seizure in 2015, they spent quality time travelling and enjoying life together.
Commitment is a different story after your 70s
When asked why she hasn’t given Jim a chance at being more than just her friend after many, many years, she is very clear.
“Those days were very different to nowadays. Dating later in life is really common. I can name four friends who’ve been given rings recently – but for the most part, there’s no intention of getting married. I’m happy to go out, but I don’t want to be serious.”
Just like younger dating, there are a number of reasons why senior dating can be layered and different to what younger couples would experience.
Commitment is certainly one of them, whether someone is entering the dating scene after their spouse has passed away or if they have never married, committing can seem daunting….or even unnecessary.
Joyce has her eyes set on remaining independent, even after two marriages, but enjoys companionship.
“Married or not married, I still live my life. If I wanted to go and see something, too bad if they didn’t want to go, I went anyway!” she says with a wink.
Finances might be a reason for uncommitted senior relationships
Part of the lack of commitment evident in many older relationships is often financially related. As Joyce explains, many of her friends with new partners may never live together.
“They still have their own homes. It may not work if you want to retain your own independence – and your own pension.”
While elderly people going on first dates might not have to worry about whether their date could be a potential life partner or the mother/father of their children, they have to keep other things in mind – like finances.
Pension is calculated on the basis of whether someone is single or in a committed relationship, living together. For those single seniors who rely on the pension, moving in with a new partner might not work out very well financially.
According to Joyce, this is something commonly stopping people of her age from moving in with their new partners.
Adult children don’t always agree with their parents’ dating choices
Seniors finding love – or at least a new companion – may not have the support of younger family members. Adult children or grandchildren might only want the best for their elders, but this can become a grey area when new partners come into the mix.
As Joyce puts it, “there’s a lot of baggage that comes with senior relationships.”
And we certainly understand, but if you are the child or grandchild of someone who is getting into a new relationship, it’s important to remember that your loved one is still his or her own person. They can choose with whom or in what form they spend their time.
So how exactly does senior dating benefit your parent or grandparent?
As we have mentioned before, we never stop looking for love. But why is that?
What love gives us differs from person to person, but the universal ideas are the same: safety, a sense of belonging, appreciation, comfort, joy, and a genuine connection are some of the things we hope to get from a loved one.
And why should that stop after we hit a certain age?
Companionship leads to happy lives for seniors
The number one reason for getting back into the dating scene as a senior is the benefits of companionship.
Life is best shared, and this becomes increasingly true after kids and grandkids have left the nest. Loneliness is often unwelcome but very persistent for seniors – and one way to combat that is to dust off the old dancing shoes and go out and find someone who loves salsa just as much as you do.
Your loved one meeting a new person to share passions and hobbies with doesn’t necessarily mean the end of ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa’ as you know it. They will always be the same person, and meeting a new companion can influence them in a positive way. Just as it was in the case of Joyce.
She says, “Jim was never a man of adventure, hence why we didn’t end up marrying each other”. But after his wife’s death, Joyce and Jim enjoyed many adventures together as friends, taking them to places where Jim in particular would never have gone on his own.
With Joyce’s positive influence on his life, they travelled all around Australia, seeing and doing new things.
Intimacy is proved to benefit us physically, mentally, and emotionally
The simple truth is that older people don’t stop enjoying intimacy and sexual relationships. Intimacy, regardless of the degree to which we enjoy it, has proven benefits to our wellbeing…irrespective of age.
According to research, “getting intimate on a regular basis boosts your immune system. Your risk for heart disease and prostate cancer decreases.”
“If that isn’t reason enough, it’s been proven that frequently hugging people you love can lower your blood pressure almost as effectively as prescription medication. What’s more, healthy sexual relationships can prolong your life up to 8 years.”
While as a child or grandchild you might find it hard to view your loved one in this light, we encourage you to try. Intimate relationships can help keep someone stay fit physically, mentally, as well as emotionally. And a happy, healthy mum, dad, granny or gramps is the best!
Sharing is caring – and sometimes, sharing is also surviving
There are some things that only people who have gone through similar life experiences can understand. This can include the passing of a spouse or other family matters from a senior’s point of view that can only be truly appreciated by someone else in similar shoes.
Widowed seniors often come together to help each other grieve and learn to live with and overcome that grief. While the support of other loved ones certainly helps, it can hugely benefit older people to discuss these issues with others coming from the same background.
Sharing grief (joy, anxiety, or contentment etc.) with someone who has had the same or similar experience can strengthen bonds and help people overcome emotional obstacles in life.
Senior dating certainly has its unique challenges – but also its own rewards!
As a senior entering the dating scene, it’s good to know you’re by no means alone.
As with anything else in life, communication is key. Talking to your loved ones about your choice is a great idea – and your grandchildren might just have the best tips for your first date!
Not just that, but make sure you also talk to your new partner, as this helps set the foundations of the relationship. Agree on what each of you would like from the relationship, but most importantly of all, enjoy!
If you’d like to learn more about how to live a happy, healthy, and more connected life as a older Australian, we’d love to help! Call our friendly team on 1300 090 256 or click here to request a callback.