Loneliness is the new smoking

Transcript

Chantelle Ellem 00:00

Welcome to Season One of Feros Talks Unsaid, Untold. I am Chantelle Ellem, also known as Fat Mum Slim. In collaboration with aged care and disability service provider Feros Care.

We are here to tell the stories no one else tells, give space to the people who have not previously been heard. Sometimes it is uncomfortable and sometimes it is even controversial, but it is always passionate, interesting and ready to unravel a fresh conversation, shifting the way we see diversity and inclusion in Australia.

Here’s something that might surprise you. Lonely people have a 25% increased risk of death with loneliness a significant risk factor for poor physical health, mental health problems and decreased quality of life, the equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes or having six alcoholic drinks per day. You might think that’s okay, because loneliness is preventable through human connection. But as of 2023, one in four Australians identify as lonely. COVID-19 really made loneliness a whole lot worse, and continues to keep people isolated, with 54% of people lonely after the pandemic, everyone from young people to the elderly in our communities. So what are we doing about it? Why aren’t health regulators and providers making loneliness a bigger priority? And if you have a lonely person in your own life, what can you suggest that may help?

Feros Care is an organization doing a lot to combat loneliness. They’re leaders in the field of social prescribing, which is like a medical prescription for your social life and an antidote to loneliness. They fundraiser programs such as More The Merrier, which delivers hampers and sends cards to lonely seniors every Christmas. They have kindness champions working year round to call and check in on lonely seniors on a weekly basis. We have in great company A volunteering program connecting those who need it most.

One of their most impactful programs has been the Virtual Social Center, an online community for seniors, it helps them to learn and connect.

So I am talking to some of the people who know the most about loneliness, and gathering their tips for leading the change towards a more connected future.

Megan, the operations manager for volunteer and social programs at Feros Care, the person who spends so much of her time working on life changing projects, such as the Virtual Social Center, and John, a 78 year old who had to quit face to face activities due to COVID-19. And has replaced them all with online classes and events. Enjoy our conversations and maybe you’ll be able to take some of their advice into your own life, or that of a lonely senior that you know.

John, can you tell me a little bit about yourself and your life so far?

John 03:00

A little bit about John so far. Well, I’m 78 going on 23. I was born in Sydney. And at the age of 06, we left the city and went to [unintelligible 03:18] a country down where my parents bought a property, we lived there until I was 21. And then the valley got taken over to make way for the blaring Dam. And I joined the New South Wales Police for quite a few years and then resigned and when in the private business. And now I’m retired and loving life. I enjoy quite a few layers of illness, and they will come to visit me and then I found my way to Feros. That’s a quick rundown of young John.

Chantelle Ellem 03:59

Oh, beautiful. Yeah, my husband’s a police officer as well. So you’re good people.

John 04:04

New South Wales?

Chantelle Ellem 04:06

Federal.

John 04:07

All right. Okay.

Chantelle Ellem 04:08

Okay. So tell me about the Virtual Social Center, you joined once COVID hit and you’re face to face exercise classes were canceled. So how did you get involved and what have you been doing in the virtual social center? Cool.

John 04:23

I knew nothing about it. And I was learning and I downloaded all the services they provide. And I thought they all look interesting. So I decided I would try out quite a few of them. And I enjoyed them so much had some weeks overreaches strong [phonetic 04:47] up to 24 different items, a time consuming, but at that time, I needed that to come out of a dark hole ocean [phonetic 04:59]. And I found that was great assistance and it’s gone from there.

Chantelle Ellem 05:06

Wow, that’s a huge commitment 24. So what sort of activities have you been doing?

John 05:11

I elaborate [phonetic 05:12] doing research, I was going on to history research with Robin. And I go out all the Tai Chi Gongs [phonetic] [unintelligible 05:31] my Parkinson’s mine lead betrayed [phonetic 05:33], I go and do story, writing, anything at all; music, ukulele singing or destroying a [unintelligible 05:48] they just roll off. Tik Tok on a Wednesday, that’s very interesting. That just whatever comes up, I look at them. And quite often, I might have a spare half hour here or there. And I’ll look and see what’s available. And I’ll just go on.

Chantelle Ellem 06:08

That’s amazing. You’re willing to give anything ago which is so nice to say.

John 06:12

[Unintelligible 06:14]

Chantelle Ellem 06:15

They are always there.

John 06:16

And they will all seem to become family, all these sections seem to have the similar interest. So if one goes on do one, you can leave that and go to another, another, another and three or four faces will follow you around.

Chantelle Ellem 06:32

Yeah, familiar faces, that’s so good.

John 06:34

And that becomes a very- Over a couple of years, it becomes a very close knit group, especially in meditation.

Chantelle Ellem 06:40

And that’s comforting. And isn’t it to know someone’s know your face and be around people that you’ve come to know?

John 06:45

It is comforting for all of us, and particularly those who were suffering at the time more so. And for them to know that they got the support and the love and care and understanding it is sometimes the only family they have got.

Chantelle Ellem 07:07

That’s right. And COVID-19 made us so isolated, didn’t it?

John 07:11

That I believe in making everybody welcome. And you can see you can read their body language if they got stressed or worries on them. And there’s always the chat area that you can strike up a conversation. And I just find it fulfilling and satisfying to be able to provide an outlet for thinking for others [unintelligible 07:43]

Chantelle Ellem 07:44

Oh that’s beautiful. So you mentioned that you’ve got Parkinson’s disease.

John 07:48

Yeah.

Chantelle Ellem 07:49

How did you feel about getting that diagnosis? And how has the Virtual Social Center helped you?

John 07:54

Well, I’ve been officially diagnosed for about eight or nine years. But when I think about it, I’ve had it for 40 or 50 years in various forms of it, picking up its place. And I found that it was getting more noticeable with the shake in the hand. So I got a referral from my GP to a specialist and he did all these tests to me. He said, “One day, I believe you’ve got Parkinson’s”, “No”, I’ve said, “What causes that”. He said, “We don’t know.” And I said watch the medication for that. And he said, “This isn’t any. We can’t treat it.” I said, “Well, what’s the duration of expectancy, time?” And he said, “It varies; somewhat slow, somewhat quick.” I said, “I’m a slow one”. He said, “You’re good at the heartbeat running [phonetic 08:56] between there already.” So from that I thought that’s quite right. Because I handle a lot of other things between there with the illnesses and injuries. And I found that when I finished it– I found out there was a course that was on a report Kibler [phonetic 09:25] hospital for living with an accepting Parkinson’s and I went and did that. And after that I rang the Parkinson paid [phonetic 09:35] offers and offered more services as a circuit speaker and got accepted and it could go under the circuits breaking. Mainly it seems to be from churches where they have a morning tea and they add people in up to 120, 130 and then they get up in the pulp and you get introduced and you talk to them from their [unintelligible 10:03] experience but I find that, that is a way to ease sufferers and carers into the unknown. [unintelligible 10:27] Here we know what’s wrong with this?

Chantelle Ellem 10:24

You’r amazing.

John 10:25

That was tasty.

Chantelle Ellem 10:27

It’s amazing that you can turn your diagnosis into something to help people, to go and then go on the circuit and speak to people that’s truly beautiful. So I hear that you’re doing the tai chi and meditation. Is there ever? Is that something you ever would have tried before the virtual social center? Have you ever tried tai chi or meditation before the opportunity came up?

John 10:48

It was either Tai Chi Gong- I think there too you said as well [phonetic 10:54]. No, no I used to– I went to Hong Kong once in 89 and then they were in their parks everywhere doing all this exercise and so when I sustained them [phonetic 11:08] laugh away to myself. They were dreaming that I’d be doing the sign that are just lucky that the people are going on with in particular the Tai Chi Gong the fella that does that happens to be this second most qualified person in Australia. I happen to get on click with him okay and I found he explains every movement how it relates to the body and that rang a bell with me and I now use that filled some other people down too and the meditation course is fabulous area for getting people to breathe in [unintelligible 12:10]

Chantelle Ellem 12:10

It’s amazing. And you’re also participating in Sing to feel good and ukulele sessions? How do you find those?

John 12:19

I find them absolutely fantastic opportunity, because of COVID I joined ukulele club here in Wollongong and it all happened from incecendental something where he is dropping in the shopping center [phonetic 12:43] and I buttered into a conversation. And hence I finished up at that fellows meeting in the later in that week. And it turned out that he taught ukulele and [unintelligible 12:59] six of those things didn’t [unintelligible 13:00] strumming and learning to play them. And that led on to joining a group here. This used to be about 100 to 120 [unintelligible 13:12] of a Wednesday night in one of the clubs. And I found that was another family that build up and they encouraged and tried and we used to get over 100 invitations to go to the places during the year before COVID and a lot of them were retirement centers. And as my Parkinson increased my balance decreased. And I found I couldn’t stand up to sing. Then one day I got tiny little stool. And I sat it down in between two ladies in the front row and said, Can I serenade you? She said, “Oh, yes. That would be nice.” And the lady sit beside she’s near behind me and it started bloom. What’s he talking to you for? Why is he talking about? She said he’s going to serenade me. Well it was on I had to turn around and come over there. There was about 30 of us turned up and the fellow we appointed that day to be in charge. He said right. We’re ready to go. Boy’s gone. Get right over here in the queue- in the group. I said no, I’m sitting there. Anyway, they used to back and forth but now log on. And I just about that far out of this lady’s face and I said it is all right. They’ll serenade you isn’t it. She said, Oh yes, it’s very nice. Anyway, I see me Mighty, go through these pages and he said we’ll would do song number 21. Then I said, Oh [unintelligible 14:54] my lucky number and we get ready And I look at the number and I said, no. And then he says, 1, 2, 3, 4. And I’m looking at this woman in the eye and I said “Love me tender, never let me go” O’Neill [phonetic 15:22] breaks here. Y’all bird behind me she’s shaking the shoulder and, and it might ease off and then the one I’ve seen it too she wants to dance they’re 95, both of them. And ah, it was the most funniest morning I’ve ever had. But the relationship that I found that that developed that became more thing, take my little [unintelligible 15:51] and sit down with the crew. And it just a way to relate to people listening. That’s fun [phonetic 15:58]

Chantelle Ellem 15:58

To connect with them. Yeah, that’s such a good story. And how has the VSC ensured that you’re staying connected with other people? Do you feel like you have a bit of a better social life because of that, even though people can be far away?

John 16:11

Well, since COVID our house had shut down. Because we’ve got a daughter that was at university. And at the age of 20, 21. She developed glandular fever, for the third or fourth time [phonetic 16:34], we normally took her home and rested her up and then she come back to uni and back to do a girl that goes to six months to her course caught up to where she was at. But this time, we took her to her specialist in Sydney, and he treated her incorrectly and he burned every organ in the body. So we moved up here for six months, and 28, 29 years later, we’re still looking after her, we’re still here. And that’s how things started there. And I forget the point I was going to make the other on carrying on a bit. But it must have been important.

Chantelle Ellem 17:15

So even though you can be isolated and you’re still caring for your daughter, you can connect with people from a distance?

John 17:22

Oh, yes. And then when COVID started, because they both haven’t got any immune system to bring that illness in here to our house, it would be very, very disaster. So we’ve virtually shut down. And my outlet is true. Mitigation, zoom, online, and that opened up Feros with all these openings, ukuleles singing, communication, writing stories, reciting, poetry. I love to do art, paintings, sketching classes, that piling up on the wall that will undermine their work. Yes. [Crosstalk 18:17]

Chantelle Ellem 18:18

That’s beautiful. I’m not sure there’s anything that you can’t do.

Chantelle Ellem 18:22

You can play the ukulele, you can paint. You can do everything.

John 18:22

A little bit.

John 18:27

A talk [phonetic 18:26].

Chantelle Ellem 18:28

You can talk, you can whistle. You’re very clever.

John 18:32

Well, another reason I’m so involved with Feros is with Parkinson’s, one of the uncertainties besides your ability to walk, which is threatened, you can lose the ability to talk. And with me that would be like putting my hands in concrete. So I take every opportunity to sing and project my voice to make the muscles work in my throat. That’s why a lot of this happens.

Chantelle Ellem 19:13

Oh that’s smart so that keeps going and what advice would you have for lonely seniors out there who want to connect with other people, just like you have?

John 19:22

Well, the first thing I believe the average person’s got to do is accept technology. It’s a frightening word to a lot of people. Technology, they don’t understand it. And you talk about anything technical and I say, No I’m illiterate. Well, and I’m never going to have anything in my house has got anything to do with technology. When you get home in an evening, who opens the garage door? Do you still get out and open that door? Does your husband and [phonetic 20:01] you drive in? No, well what do you do? Oh, we just hit the button and door goes up. [Unintelligible 20:07] When you get in when you morning, when you make the toast, do you still put a fork in the open floor? Or do you have toaster that the sides come down you put it in and they’d close them up and forget it. Oh, no, no. What do you do? Well, you put toast in then you pull it over. And it pops up again when it’s ready [unintelligible 20:37] the thing, technology. Let’s say oh well tell me what do you think draws the toaster? What do you think draws the roller door? You’re fully tech-nalised lady. You’re already using it.

Chantelle Ellem 20:50

Yeah, it seems overwhelming, doesn’t it? But it’s part of their lives already.

John 20:54

Yeah. So then I developed asking them do they?– Then then you’ll get some that have you got a laptop? Yeah, but I don’t know how to use it. Mm hmm. Do you Ed, you got a granddaughter? Yeah. She got an email. Yeah, you find out what that is. And ring me back. Why? Oh, just did it. They ring back. And I say, righto, you know, what’s your email? I get to write you a letter. And you open your email. And we’ll go from there. I got a coupon. And it’s an invitation to join me on Zoom. And you bring them up, and you help them, follow the simple instructions. And then they say, What’s this? Oh, I can see your face on my computer. [unintelligible 22:02]? I’m using technology honey? Well you’re going to tell me that you [phonetic] wouldn’t have done this. I done this. And then those when I did it was about two o’clock in the afternoon. I said, No, I gotta teach you how to invite me like I just invited you and we spent about an hour and before the clock she rang back. So excited. She is what we’re nearly nobody [phonetic 22:23]. She is in COVID whose first [phonetic] study. She hadn’t seen a soul [phonetic 22:29] for six weeks. She had a large family and two or three of the sons and daughters every Sunday we take it in terms of bringing the entire family around and then she’d cook dinner for them and he hadn’t seen the she hadn’t seen the souls she’d missed christenings and a few other things and she buried their Neil and she says I just rang my- I just spoke to my granddaughter online, said Neil when they were there to function if they need to put a camera up somewhere on a piano somewhere leave it go you’re at every function not done that I don’t know how many times since and that gets them out of the house otherwise they would be in doors right by me, wouldn’t it?

Chantelle Ellem 23:19

Yeah, I think it’s a way to connect with people. It’s a modern way

John 23:22

So getting people to accept and have a look at other things. It is a way of communication and so why don’t we get out of the depression before it gets hold of you.

Chantelle Ellem 23:38

You’re changing other people’s lives and you’ve changed your else own as well.

John 23:41

You mix it with positive people.

Chantelle Ellem 23:44

You’re doing a good thing.

John 23:47

And you are mixing with positive people and you get- you become like you mix with.

Chantelle Ellem 23:55

And you’re finding that through the virtual social center mixing with people like you who have adopted technology and willing to give it a go.

John 24:01

Very much.

Chantelle Ellem 24:03

Very good

John 24:03

Very much. Very much and there’s people in there of all ages, more older than younger. And we’re all having a ball…

Chantelle Ellem 24:14

Yeah it sounds like it.

John 24:15

A lot of them let me know you press a button you come on and we don’t know what else is happening. Well, the more shy they are, the more challenged they are to get them to smile and relax and enjoy the group.

Chantelle Ellem 24:16

Yeah, and it probably takes more than one class for them to come out of their shell.

John 24:30

And more than one visit [phonetic].

Chantelle Ellem 24:31

Thank you so much for chatting with me today. You are a joy. I love that you have really adopted technology and jumping in feet first and giving it all the go.

John 24:42

Well, I’ll do a lot of research, family history of doing history research for about 150 families and writing a website of history for several country towns in New South Wales and that it creates wonderful communications with people from all over the world they find a site and they come on and they say you know more about our family and we do [phonetic 25:12] what else and then you got another family member contributing in their words to put on their story on the webshop [phonetic] instead of writing a book in hardcopy, you’re writing it with your finger.

Chantelle Ellem 25:28

That’s awesome. So they can find it. Thank you so much for your time.

John 25:33

[Crosstalk] of pleasure.

Chantelle Ellem 25:34

And for your singing. That’s beautiful. Do you mind singing one more song? Do you have your ukulele? Could you sing one little song?

John 25:43

This one?

Chantelle Ellem 25:44

You actually do have one.

John 25:46

And there’s under [unintelligible 25:47] due to COVID [unintelligible song]

Chantelle Ellem 27:11

That was so good. You make me want to cry, was so good. How can you be so clever? I wanted to join you but I would have ruined it but it was so beautiful. The family you have around you are very lucky to have you.

John 28:27

No lucky. But it’s people like you that make Feros work. Feros [unintelligible 28:41] work. Nurses plus staff that are relatable want to be there, have more to do things the extra middle mile to help others. And this crew that are in the Feros are just that.

Chantelle Ellem 28:55

Thank you so much.

John 28:56

Don’t have to name them because they know who they are. And they are all chosen that job from their heart. And that’s how they operate. And that also extends to all the sections of Feros which includes public relations.

Chantelle Ellem 29:21

They’re in the business of caring. Thank you so much for your time.

John 29:25

We’ll be there again someday soon. Bur I don’t know when.. But I know looking at you with my new glasses. [unintelligible 29:40]

Chantelle Ellem 29:42

I look forward to it.

Megan I’d love for you to tell us a bit about yourself. What makes you so passionate about the work you do for Feros Care?

Megan 30:05

So I come from a background of health promotion. When I went to university, I studied public health and health promotion. And since then I’ve been working on projects, usually at a population level. So working for local governments or in commissioning roles, where you know, you’re making an impact, but you can’t see it, you don’t get to speak to the client, so be on the ground when the works been delivered. So since starting with Feros Care, I believe two years ago, I’ve been really fortunate to be working on projects where you get to talk to the clients, you get to see directly the impact that the work we’re doing is having, and particularly working for Feros Care, what I really value is, we have such a focus on the social emotional well being of our clients just as much as what you consider traditional aged care services being the physical mobility or domestic assistance and that sort of thing. So I find my values really connect with the work that we’re doing here.

Chantelle Ellem 30:54

Yeah, it’s such important work, like we just spoke to John, and we’ve seen the difference that the Virtual Social Center has had in his life. And it’s must be so nice to see the impact that you’re making and what changes it makes in people. So, it’s such a rewarding work, I guess, too.

Megan 30:55

It does and it’s really motivating, it’s quite easy to get up and go with the day, when you know, you’re having that positive impact, I get to do some of the boring stuff behind the scenes. So I don’t get as much time on the virtual social center, talking with the clients as well as the team members do. So it gets you through those meetings at the end of the day, you know, that’s happening directly with the clients.

Chantelle Ellem 31:31

And hearing the stories back about what the feedback from people would be great, too.

Megan 31:35

Yeah, absolutely it makes your day.

Chantelle Ellem 31:37

You’ve seen and heard firsthand the impacts of loneliness on the senior members of our local communities. Tell us just how many lonely seniors are out there?

Megan 31:44

Yeah, absolutely. So we have research to suggest that older adults are the most likely demographic to experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. Wherein you add on to that, that we have data that 1/3 of all senior Australians live alone, so they’re isolated within their house as well. But I think there’s a bigger conversation about what a really challenging process aging is, and what that means for an individual sense of self and their self identity. Because we know, as we age, your role in your family unit, you’re role, your community really changes as well. And quite a lot of that compounds on one another. So you have a shifting role from potentially moving out of a workforce to being relocated in a physical sense, if you need to remove– if you need to change your living conditions, losing a life partner, or close family and friends. But also, we have so many of our clients who have been their caregiver in their family and then are going into a care receiving role because they need support, whether in their home or with whatever it might be in the individual circumstances. So when you add all that together, their sense of identity, and perhaps what used to really bring you joy, or what role used to have and how you were fulfilled by that. And then the size for that social isolation, and social connection you got out of that, as well. So it’s not as simple as looking at being physically isolated. It’s all what you used to do, and what you would use to enjoy day to day, and the people that you connect with as you do that. So it’s really a significant thing, as we have an aging population as well, the focus on it, I hope will continue to get really strong. The good thing is we are doing some things, both within Feros Care and the broader government to look at all of this together.

Chantelle Ellem 31:54

Yeah, even the simple thing of removing the ability to drive a car, like how much that changes someone’s life.

Megan 33:35

Absolutely. But the confidence that comes along with that, as well. And the impact that that can have to your confidence and your sense of self and your independence, that we often find people get really withdrawn when they go through those life changes as well. That you really take it, take it for granted at times how connected you are. If you drive down to the local shops, and you talk to the person at the checkout, how many small micro interactions you have day to day, where if someone doesn’t have the ability to do that they’re isolated to their home, they might go to their post box and see one person for the day. And that could be the only person they see that day as well. So the importance of those small interactions with one another, I think become really, really highlighted during those times.

Chantelle Ellem 34:17

I even noticed when you go to the supermarket and say you’re seeing a older person at the shopping center, I’ve always made an effort to maintain eye contact and listen because I just realized that that might be the only contact I have with someone that day and how important it is to be seen and also heard. So just taking the time to listen to them. And when you open that door, sometimes that door stays open for a long time because they’ve got a lot to say because it might be the only interaction they’ve got. But that is so important. It’s such a big part of their life and they need it.

Megan 34:45

Absolutely. And I can relate to that. I’m more of a personal level myself last year, I had my first baby in January last year so I had a year off from work and I was home with our lovely son but there would be times where I’d get to 4 o’clock and my partner would walk in the door that was the first adult, I’d spoken to that day other than my son and seeing lots of wiggle songs, but you really realize when you place a lot more importance on those particular interactions when you don’t have many of them in a day, and I think going from work, we’re surrounded by people, whether that be our clients or our co workers. And just, it was really, really beneficial for me to go through that and have that broader experience to be able to relate a bit closer to people who are not as able to be out there in the community as others.

Chantelle Ellem 35:33

Yeah, it’s so important. And it’s nice that you could take your own experience and bring that back to work. And know that how important it is and what a difference you can make. I’ve read and heard some of the stories of people benefiting from the virtual social center. Can you share some with us and how it’s changed people’s lives?

Megan 35:48

Yeah, absolutely. I think the virtual social center can be a really challenging thing to articulate as well. I like to think of it as an online Neighborhood House. So you basically you get in the door of it. And there’s so many different types of sessions depending on your personal interest. So we’re found the impact to the client is so dependent on what they like to do, what their hobbies are, what their personal interests are, for example, we have everything from the most popular session is the seem to feel good. So the clients come together, they have the lyrics in front of them, and they sing with the instructor. And it’s just such a joyous activity that they do together, often singing songs that I don’t personally recognize not really my demographic, but they connect back with in their from their past, they might have remembered him Yes, sort of 30, 40, 50 years ago.

So it’s a really beautiful, you really see people’s spirits get lifted during that particular session. We also have mobility sessions like flexibility and balance, even a seated tie chair for lower mobility needs as well. So it gives them an opportunity with Allied [phonetic 36:51] Health instructors to come on from the comfort of their own home. But I think, again, going back to the individual circumstance of the clients, we have clients who are physically homebound because of their own mobility, we also have clients who are within a caring role in their home dynamics. So that might be their husband or their wife have higher needs in there. They’re restricted from their ability to go out and socialize as much because they need to be at home to care for that person.

So we’ve found particularly those clients really get a lot out of the social catch, as we just have a coffee catch up crew that they’re fantastic. They’ve even connected within one another. We have clients all over Australia, and they managed to connect into state when they went traveling as well and meet up in person. One of the most beautiful stories came from a client who, yeah, it was quite isolated, but had a really low confidence, getting back out there socially, as well. So initially, she thought that she was going to join and sort of sit back in the background and just be there. And because of the welcoming environment that’s led by the participants and led by the clients themselves, she really felt like she could contribute. And from there, she’s led to play the ukulele, again, a very niche, one that I wasn’t necessarily expecting to find when I first started. But when we think about it, like we’re learning a new skill, we know how important lifelong learning is, as well. Also fine motor skills of learning the ukulele. And then that particular person went on to teach her grandchildren how to play ukulele. So while that there’s so much that clients are able to do for me, the biggest thing is we’re supporting their access to these different things, whether that’s through the digital tech support that we have. So we have a line that if they’re having issues with their camera, or their video, they can call up and get some subtle, but it’s the magic that happens within the actual visual social center itself, which is all driven by the clients, they make their own community in there. If one of them’s not there one week, they’re asking where Mary [phonetic 38:48] is, for example, to make sure she’s back there next week. So they get that personal connection with one another. And at the end of the day, we’re just really supporting them to be able to access something from their home that they otherwise might have had the opportunity to do in the community itself.

Chantelle Ellem 39:03

Oh, that’s gorgeous. Everyone’s heart breaks at the thought of a lonely senior in their community. But I feel like most of us are already time poor and put it to the back of our minds. Is it a community responsibility to ensure combating loneliness? And what advice do you have individuals who want to do something about lonely seniors in the local community?

Megan 39:23

Yeah, absolutely. Like we spoke about this so much that feeds into, isolation and loneliness. Again, from those micro interactions we have throughout the day, you can be present for people in your community, whether it’s as simple as saying, Hello, how’s your day and just bringing a smile to someone’s face? That’s always really important. But I think if we take a step back, and we look at the seniors in our community, whether they’re in our personal network, in our neighborhood, they are people who have so much to offer. They have incredible life experiences. They often have so much wisdom, so many skills to share, so much knowledge to share as well. So there’s so much that you can get out of connecting with someone who is so much more just has so much more life experience than what you might have. So I think it’s a little bit of a mind set shift that it’s not necessarily like what I can do for them, but how can they also add value to my family, you know, or there’s so much to do. And the beautiful thing if you don’t have people in your immediate network that you feel you could reach out to and build those connections with, there are so many volunteering opportunities that you can connect with, as well. The community visitor scheme which Ferris Kerr delivers under ingrained Kim company is a nationwide program. So no matter where you are, in Australia, there’s someone delivering the community visitor scheme and can match you up with someone in the community that would have a shared interest whether it’s as simple as playing cards, or having a cup of tea and a biscuit and a good old gossip. We know there’s usually some of the Sun is connection. So there are places that you can go to even a virtual social center itself has a beautiful host of volunteers who facilitate some sessions. And again, some of them as simple as a coffee catch up. And they talk about what they’ve seen in the news, anything on the TV, anything that they really want to speak to. So there are lots of opportunities. And I guess it’s just everyone has different time commitments. So trying to find something that best works for your circumstances as well.

Chantelle Ellem 41:21

I joined in great company last year, I didn’t know that was part of the Feros Care, and I joined. And it’s been probably one of the best things I’ve done in my life. And you know, I’ve got two beautiful kids. And I’ve done a lot of great things in my life. But that is at the top of the list. It’s and I thought that I’d be giving to June who I visit with every week, but I realize I’m receiving so much from her as well. So I highly recommend it. It’s so great. And I know that we’re so time poor, and I do slot it into my week. But the importance of that and how much I would never want to give that up because I get to spend time with June and hear this life well lived and all these stories. And the first meeting I had with her she told me about her love story meeting her husband and just made me feel so alive. So there is it’s such a rewarding thing to do. And I highly recommend that to anyone.

Megan 42:12

Absolutely. And we find that so often our the clients that we have throughout Feros here in general, have incredible stories. The way whether that be from if they’re born in another country, and their journey to being in Australia is usually in like just incredible. It’s from another lifetime that I haven’t had a lot of experience with other than my own grandparents. And it really provides you an opportunity to slow down because usually when you’re having those connections or conversations, it might only be half an hour, but you’ll find you’re not looking at your phone. We know we juggle so much in our daily lives. But working in this space, I’ve really found the value of just really delving into conversation as well. And again, like you said, it takes prioritization, we feel like we might not always have time, but you will leave whatever interaction it is your cup will be filled up, as well. And I think that’s really important to think about what value that can bring to our lives. And then even our children’s lives as well. Like how he’s abroad community can continue to have that intergenerational connections is so so important.

Chantelle Ellem 43:20

Yeah, like most days, when I go, I’m always a little bit stressed and thinking about all the things that I need to do, but I never leave there without feeling like I’ve got that full cup and that I’m altered and changed and it’s never on my phone. It slows you down. But it makes me realize what’s important and best little reality check for me, you know, just a little bit of a June dose. That’s what I think every Tuesday when I go.

Megan 43:47

That’s beautiful.

Chantelle Ellem 43:48

What’s the best thing a lonely person can do to connect more meaningfully with others?

Megan 43:52

I think going back to what we’ve highlighted it’s really starting with what’s important to you. What are your interests? What are your hobbies? What’s something that you perhaps used to do? We know one of our recent clients has gotten back into gardening because that’s a real passion and she’s able to share that passion. I think that’s really important that when you connect with someone, it also is something that you have not necessarily in common, but there’s something other than the connection that’s bringing value to you as well. And I think again, going back to how the identity changes as you age and your hobbies might drop off or what you really enjoy doing if you can find that shared interest with someone I think it’s a really sustainable way to keep going and keep connecting if it’s more than just having a chat it’s something that you find purpose in and passion as well.

Chantelle Ellem 44:43

I feel it’s like being seen and you stay young by challenging yourself and learning new things as well but that connecting with other people so when we spoke to John at- he would say that every time he logs into his virtual social center he’ll see familiar faces and each different class and it feels like family to him. So it’s a great way to connect with people and keep your brain working.

Megan 45:03

Yeah, absolutely. And we really do find the clients connect with one another, they have little jokes that come in. And there’s usually a few minutes at the start of the end, even if it is a mobility or flexibility posture session, they have a good chat at the start and the end. And even our allied health workers, they know the clients, they know them really well. And they’re able to have that, little bit of banter to break it up as well. But again, like with John, he’s got real strong passions, what sessions he signs up for, and when he goes into, and then again, you’re able to connect with like minded people when you follow your personal interests as well.

Chantelle Ellem 45:38

Yeah. Oh, it’s such a great initiative that I am just so excited to hear about and learn more about today. So thank you so much for sharing with us.

Megan 45:47

Oh, thank you so much for having us. It’s a really beautiful program. And it’s all led by the clients. They’re the ones that make it a community, they’re the ones that reach out and say hello to one another. Without that, and without them taking ownership of their own little virtual community. It wouldn’t be anything of what it is today. We also have a wonderful, wonderful team that work behind the scenes and keep it all churning [phonetic 46:08] so I just really want to recognize that they do such an incredible, incredible job. And it makes me very proud to work on social programs with Feros Care.

Chantelle Ellem 46:16

I’m finding that the people at Feros Care care, like that’s the main thing that weaves through the whole companies, everyone cares. And that just shows in everything that gets done. And especially with the virtual social center. Everyone cares. And that shows in the difference. It’s made in people’s lives like John and I’m sure in hundreds of others. So good work.

Megan 46:34

Very, very proud to work. Yeah. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And thank you for volunteering. That’s incredible.

Chantelle Ellem 46:42

No, that’s okay. Best thing ever. I will always be a part of my life.

Megan 46:46

That’s so beautiful to hear. Like I said, they’re the stories they get you through the rest of the day when you might have some administrative tasks to get to next, and so it is very motivating when you hear what happens in the community.

Chantelle Ellem 46:59

All the paperwork. Well, thank you so much for today, and I’m sure that we’ll talk to you soon.

Megan 47:04

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

Chantelle Ellem 47:15

Thank you for joining us on today’s episode about loneliness. For more about the Virtual Social Center. You can check out feroscare.com.au/podcast. If this episode is brought up anything for you. Support is always available from Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 and lifeline on 13 11 14. Thank you for joining me this season of Unsaid Untold and as always, please take care of yourselves

Disclaimer: The content and views discussed in Feros Talks podcast episode are those of the individuals involved. They are not necessarily condoned by, or, are the views of Feros Care or its employees.