How to live life one-handed

Transcript

Chantelle Ellem 00:00

Welcome to Season One of Feros talks, Unsaid, Untold. I’m Chantelle Ellem, also known as Fat Mum Slim. In collaboration with aged care and disability service provider, Feros care, we’re here to tell the stories no one else tells, give space to the people who haven’t previously been heard. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. And sometimes it’s even controversial, but it’s always passionate, interesting and ready to unravel a fresh conversation, shifting the way we see diversity and inclusion in Australia.

Mark Payne doesn’t just live one handed, he thrives one handed from doing a marathon in a wheelchair to kickboxing, and even writing a cookbook for one handed people. Mark is here to tell us what it’s like to get around in a society that isn’t really set up for you, and how you can still make the most of it. Despite plenty of challenges, Mark has incredible insight into keeping up a positive attitude. And his tips will go far for anyone who finds themselves faced with an unusual challenge, or a set of circumstances that they weren’t expecting. Thank you so much for joining us today. Mark, you’ve lived a very interesting life and at times, also very challenging life. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your story?

Mark 01:41

Well, I had a stroke, when I was 30 and had a back injury. Both of those incidents have been challenging, for me and my wife, and I’m going to thank her for the rest of the time she spent looking after the situation as well. And that’s important, whether it would be male or female and whatever. But the people around you offer the greatest support as well. And you’ve got to thank them.

Chantelle Ellem 02:15

Yes, it’s a lot of work for them, to be by your side and seeing you change as well, isn’t it so to love you and help you through, that is a big role and important role.

Mark 02:24

Yes, indeed. Very much so. The main thing with my stroke was learning to speak more. Well, with the help of my wife to eat again. And all sorts of things with the back injury. And with the NDIS as well. That’s been helpful as well for a great extent.

Chantelle Ellem 02:54

How long did you spend in hospital after the stroke? And then how long?

Mark 02:57

Last time, six and a half months. And the time before was six and a half months.

Chantelle Ellem 03:03

All right. So, it’s been a long recovery.

Mark 03:06

Yes, a very long time.

Chantelle Ellem 03:08

So, you’ve not only experienced a stroke, you’ve also had a spinal injury and experienced a serious car accident all in the last 12 years. Can you tell me a little bit more about those incidents?

Mark 03:17

With the spinal injury, three days after, I was in the hospital, and three days off from my initial operation, I was told I would never walk and it took me a month before I moved one big toe, now for people that are able bodied it doesn’t matter what pain disability people have. When told something, in some people the brain says well, I’m not going to try. And I recently heard a story about a guy that was a great speaker and he was told he had cancer. And the doctor said, well 97% of people died and he said well tell me about the 3% that live, and that’s you know, I think, the focus is on the bad and not taking in the good in the situation. That’s what it means.

It means with me too. It was a long road and then, it’s still a long road and every day is a long road to travel. And with the spinal injury I had to learn to wash myself and  transfer and all sorts of things and walk and walking is very hard. I do some walking and that sort of thing. The car accident, the person hit me and I was on the ground, next thing I’m in the ambulance and I am recovered.

Chantelle Ellem 05:04

That’s a lot within a 12 year period, though, isn’t it?

Mark 05:08

So, everyone has something in their own situation, it is a lot. Further, coping is a different thing for many different people. And you just have to take out what you can.

Chantelle Ellem 05:28

And when you were talking about, it took you a month for your toes to move. Did you feel really determined? Is that do you think, that’s what drove you to keep on going? And to get that result?

Mark 05:43

Yes, very much. I think, that’s what you have to do, look at the determination. Well, this morning, when I was trying to meet into the radio, right here that I’m talking on now. I was determined. And I did it. But I needed a bit of help but we got there.

Chantelle Ellem 06:08

I like that. Some might call it, you’re a bit stubborn. I like that it’s a determination to get to see it through and to get things done. And it obviously works for you.

Mark

Yes, very much.

Chantelle Ellem

For many people, one of those situations would be enough to get someone down. But you’ve not only survived, but you’ve thrived. Can you walk us through your mental attitude towards those challenges?

Mark 06:31

Well, a mental attitude is a difficult thing, I guess, it’s learning to cope. And I get very frustrated and people do in many situations. And sometimes it’s taking a setback or turning off. With people’s lifestyle all today it’s not only the lunch break, or whatever it’s all readily. But what I do and what my wife does does is, she has someone, I have me time I call it me time. And I see you don’t have to be gone. But it does help your mental capacity to grow in it and then see things.

Chantelle Ellem 07:30

Yes. To have a bit of break.

Mark 07:31

Yes, very much.

Chantelle Ellem 07:35

So, I’ve read that you’ve completed a fun run in your wheelchair before and you’ve done a lot of personal training in the mainstream gym. Can you talk us through that training program and how it’s helped you?

Mark 07:46

Yes, I trained for 18 months. I was doing some training and wanted to do boxing. So, the person I was doing boxing with, we’ve been together friendship for seven years or more. Anyway, he was training one day and I was on a bike. And I said, I want to do the marathon. He said, all right, I’ll train you. And I said, how far. He said all the way. So, I raised $1,700 for stroke. And it was very hard work. It was a lot of different formats for training. But the main training was on the bike and because one, I had to learn to strengthen my blood and I went in a wheelchair, and the heaviest part was pushed by the rest of the way. I did myself and there was a lot of people, other people doing things as well. They were with walking sticks and that sort of thing. But the main gist of it was just the achievement, I guess was the main thing to achieve that. In that situation it was a big thing for me and big part of me. And it’s continuing my work. I’m continuing training all the time in the gym. I’ve got two session booked this week or every week on a Friday session boxing. And on Saturday I was session in the gym and the rest day, back in the gym, rest day, back in the gym, that’s what, another things as well.

Chantelle Ellem 10:03

You’re putting me to shame.

Mark 10:07

No. You’ve got plenty right on your plate, you were in New Zealand yesterday.

Chantelle Ellem 10:12

Can you tell me about that moment, when you cross that finish line at the fun run? What was that like?

Mark 10:18

It was amazing. I did it in a record time. And then because, I was the only person in a wheelchair doing it. So, that was a big plus. And they added my name and I answered every on that. And then it was amazing. Yes, I can send you and if you send me a link and your E-mail address. I’ll take a photo. I’ve got it on wall in the middle of my wall, if you like.

Chantelle Ellem 10:53

Yes, I’d love to see it. So, in between the gym somehow and everything that you do, you’re writing a book of recipes. Can you tell me a bit more about that?

Mark 11:04

Yes, it will be a recipe book, whether it would be cookbook tips and exercise. But the main, if you think about cookbook or things in the kitchen. Most people have two arms and think that is the only way to do things. Now, when you got one arm, or you’ve got one leg or whatever it might be. But if you look at the fact that you’ve got two knees and two feet, and maybe one arm, okay, so I’ll give you a tip. How would you open a bottle of juice and you have one arm.

Chantelle Ellem 11:57

I think, I’d have to use my knees and then use my hand to unscrew it. Is that right?

Mark 12:02

You put the bottle in between your feet. You don’t squeeze it because everyone wants a whole litre. They want it right filled, to the top. So, when you squeeze it with the feet, splash, there’s a mess on the floor. So, you have to be very careful. Another tip is to do vegetables or ham packet or something right. Now, how would you get it done with one hand? Come on.

Chantelle Ellem 12:46

My teeth probably. I don’t know. Like, I actually do not know.

Mark 12:49

No. Very easy. No doubt, a lot of people have jugs in their cupboard. And two litre jugs. You put a packet in a jug, it’s cheapest item. You use a pair of scissors which is about two dollars. Cut across the top, tip the vegetables with one hand in the jug and done.

Chantelle Ellem 13:21

That makes sense. I just have never had to think about it.

Mark 13:29

No, I had to think, how would I do it? You get rid of it. We’re always in the kitchen out. That’s the important thing. The other thing is, my passion is main cooking and to chop an onion. I mean, how would you chop an onion? You can buy it in a packet already chopped. The best tip in the world and you don’t cry. And you’ve always got it. So, a lot of things, more tips and then recently, but in the rest of these elite tips, like you don’t always have to do things, like its doing things, do a banana with your one hand. You can use a spoon rather than a knife. Because it won’t slip. And it won’t cut you.

Chantelle Ellem 14:37

Yes, such simple things. So, how far along are you in the book…

Mark 14:45

Well, probably about 20 pages or 20 chapters. They’re only small chapters, there is mainly little things and every day, I think, I work in the kitchen and come up with an idea. It goes in the back of my head and so it’s part of the source like, I have two microwaves and an air fryer. Now, the microwave that I have, a small one has a square, not a round rotary, so, you can put a square dish in it. And it’s got a grill and so if you use a microwave. Every microwave doesn’t matter, whether it is five hundred dollar or five thousand, it switches itself off. So, a lot of people are afraid of that and don’t realise that it switches itself up in a minimal level. And that’s something.

Chantelle Ellem 16:07

An air fryer is a brilliant thing.

Mark 16:11

Oh, yeah. And again, they switch themselves off.

Chantelle Ellem 16:15

If we were to talk about the world, what changes would you love to see in the world to make it one better geared towards people who live with disability? So, what things could we do to make it better?

Mark 16:24

Well, I was talking to my sister in England, this morning, and I told her Oh, I’m coming on today, and we’re chatting away. And we came up with this idea and it was a combination. She’s about to say, something, I said, I know. Blah, blah, blah. And what we both came up with, and it’s my idea as well. But I don’t know, I’m trying to… you in Redcliffe at the moment?

Chantelle Ellem 16:56

Gold Coast.

Mark 16:57

Okay. So, maybe there is a Parliament house there and it’s got a lot of sets. And I know the one here in Adelaide has a lot of sets. And yeah, it seems unachievable for people with disability and list narrow. They’re old sized and disabled parking, I’m only parking for five minutes, but those people have done in the access. They’ve gotten the access for a reason. By the way, the best thing I reckon, could be done is and every parliamentarian has a day in the life of a wheelchair or a disabled person or a blind person.

Being told they are as they can be, where everyone can be but the main thing would be try to get in a lift.

You know, we went to Melbourne, and I won’t say the place but we went to a place and we went to the pictures. But the access was a dirty, grabby, filthy garbage lift. And that was the only way we could get up to the second floor. And that is a brand new building. Someone got their palm greased. And the only other access was an escalator. So, I can understand old building, that’s fine. I’ll cop that sweet. But when it’s a new building, with the new regulations make the doors automatic. Not a push door. And I don’t want to rave on about it. But I think, the main thing would be just, politicians, or people of power, they can change things. A lot of people can’t change things but those people can look at it and say, well hang on a minute. See, I’m in Canberra, in Parliament, how would I get out? How would I get down there with no exit? There’s no ramp. So, if there’s no ramp around the ground floor where a parliamentarian goes, how about the gallery. How about the picture show. There’s whole lot of things that people can look at.

Chantelle Ellem 19:53

It’s just not acceptable, is it? And it doesn’t take much just to think of it differently and make accessibility, right?

Mark

Correct.

Chantelle Ellem

You live life one handed, but other people do as well. In not the same way, like moms holding babies. Or if they’ve got a broken arm temporarily. What are your top tips for how to live life one handed?

Mark 20:18

Well, that’s a good question. At the moment I’m on the phone, talking to you, the thing to do will be, look at your environment and make sure you don’t try to think – It’s a hard thing, think outside the square, but try not to think too able bodied. If you’re going to fail, fail, it’s easy to fix. Main thing would be look at your environment. So, that’s important and be aware, conscious. So, a mother with a baby or someone with a broken arm, okay, if they break the left arm that might be alright. But if they break the right arm in right handed people, they got to use the left. So, the tip would and I’m being lucky in one way that I use some mine, before I lost use of my right hand completely, would be try to use your left hand and a lot of things one handed. A lot of adjustment need to be made because things are made for people who are right handed. And a lot of things are made that way. So, I think the main thing would be to adjust your lives accordingly. And try not to work too hard. And don’t get too frustrated with the whole thing, just try to step back maybe. And that might help.

Chantelle Ellem 22:18

Yes, it seems like you’ve slowed down with your thinking about how to do, you think about getting creative as well like with the vegetables in the jug. It’s like, how can I do this and this correct. Activating that creative part of your brain to go Whoa, this might work. This could be a solution.

Mark 22:35

You have got it in one. You got to pack.

Chantelle Ellem 22:37

Thanks so much for chatting with us today. It’s been great to hear your story.

Mark 22:41

That’s been my pleasure.

Chantelle Ellem 22:49

What an incredible guy. It was such a pleasure speaking with Mark. For more on how Feros Care supports those, living with disability and thriving in their communities. Go to feroscare.com.au/podcast. Chat to you next time on Unsaid, Untold.

Disclaimer: The content and views discussed in Feros Talks podcast episode are those of the individuals involved. They are not necessarily condoned by, or, are the views of Feros Care or its employees.