The answers to life's biggest questions are right in front of us

Transcript

Chantelle Ellem 00:20

Welcome to Season One of Feros Talks Unsaid, Untold. I’m Chantelle Ellem, also known as Fat Mum Slim. In collaboration with aged care and disability service provider, Feros care.

We’re here to tell the stories no one else tells. Give space to the people who haven’t previously been heard. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable and sometimes it’s even controversial, but it’s always passionate, interesting and ready to unravel a fresh conversation, shifting the way we see diversity and inclusion in Australia.

As human beings, we’re always seeking wisdom. We understand that wisdom has played a key part in evolution and we’re keen to avoid the same mistakes as those who have walked before us but it’s not often enough that we tap into the incredible resource that is the elderly people of our communities. They’ve lived long lives, they’ve seen things that many of us haven’t and according to The New York Times, older people have a greater sense of wellbeing than younger ones. Not because they’re unreservedly blissful, but because they accept a mixture of happiness and sadness in their lives, and waste less time on anger, stress and worry.

At Feros Care, we’re lucky enough to work with people of many different ages across both aged care and disability support and so we’re sitting down with a few of the individuals who have spent years and years working directly with the elderly, and we’re gathering their wisdom.

Is life just about luck? Or is it about hard work too? What happy memories do people carry most with them? And what do they wish they did differently? I personally can’t wait to find out. Today we’re speaking to Tania the creative marketing lead for Feros Care and Holly, the well-being manager for Feros Care as well. Holly, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your role at Feros Care?

Holly Kiggins 01:51

Sure, yes. Hi. Thanks for having me on. So my name is Holly. I’ve been a wellbeing manager for the last four and a half years, and I have been working with Fero– At Feros Care for six years now and originally, I had a background career in finance in Telco. So I worked for big companies in the city in Sydney and my father in law was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. So at that time, I decided to travel to Mexico and spend the next couple of years of my life and with my husband looking after him. So I got to learn firsthand of what it takes the amount of care and dignity and respect that is needed to care for someone that’s older that has medical issues.

So when I returned to Australia, I decided that I would like to do that full time and help other people. So that’s what I did. I applied at Feros Care and I got the role and yes, so six years and last year was nominated and was a finalist and won the Dream Maker Award, which was– One of our values at Feros Care is helping people to achieve their dreams and it was really lovely to be acknowledged by my fellow colleagues and peers for the work that I’ve done.

Chantelle Ellem 03:33

Congratulations.

Holly Kiggins 03:34

Thank you and I’ll just mention in my current role as a wellbeing manager, what I do is I help people to reach their goals, which are individual goals that they may want to meet, to keep them living independently at home. So that may be things like, coordinate their package, their home care packages, and that ranges from things like helping people to get support to shower. Sometimes it’s social support to get them out into the community so that they can go and have a coffee and– Or lunch or something like that, and helping them to connect with the community and also things like mobility equipment such as Wheelie Walkers and things like that, whatever it is that the person needs to be able to live comfortably, independently at home.

Chantelle Ellem 04:20

So you’ve spent a lot of time with older Australians with your work and also with your father in law, hearing a lot about their lives and their challenges. What are the some of the stories of moments that have stuck with you, or that you think will stick with you throughout your life?

Holly Kiggins 04:33

There’s been a lot I have to say. I’ve learnt a lot. Probably one recent one was a couple of years ago when COVID first happened, I was looking after a beautiful 98 year old lady and we were doing her home care package review in her home and the TV came on and it was the news about COVID. The COVID pandemic and she turned to me and said, you know I was a nurse in World War Two in Germany and I’ve seen some really terrible things and I was lucky enough to come to Australia and she said, I’ve nursed people through polio and smallpox and all these different things and she said, this one is just another one, and it will pass, and you don’t need to be worried and there’ll be people here that look after people and–

It really put it into perspective, for me, being in the younger generation that this too will pass and hopefully, I can look back at that time of COVID, which was very difficult time for most people, especially older people and think, well, I made a difference. So that was a beautiful piece of advice from someone that spent their whole life caring for others, was really beautiful and I think I’ve had another– I work with a lot of people that are country people in Murwillumbah. So they were raised on farms and things like that.

And another one lady that I care for, in her 90s, she said to me, she had seven children and by the time she had a seventh child at home– She had the older children at home. By the time she had her seventh child. She had her in the morning, and then by the afternoon, she was out milking the cows again, on the same day. Yes and I thought the resilience of this lady. Just absolutely. You think about the current times and people sometimes will spend weeks recovering a hospital, but no, the cows needed to be milked, children need to be fed. So, yes, there’s some really like, unbelievable stories that I’ve heard and even just looking at the way, and I’m focusing a little bit more on women, but because I’m a woman, I do resonate a little bit with some of these stories because sometimes in the past, people have gone through real hardships with things like domestic violence, and inequality for women and just hearing some of those stories about there was no support available at the time for them, and living in an unsafe home and just it sort of puts into perspective, again, what we currently have, and we’ve got a long way to go but it’s also just a reminder that things have improved.

Chantelle Ellem 07:21

Yes, we don’t have to go out and milk the cows after we’ve given birth and things.

Holly Kiggins 07:25

No.

____________________________________________________________________________________*Cut from 7:27 – 11:53*

Chantelle Ellem 11:53

Yes, very important. What are some of the lessons you’ve learned from the elderly that you take with you throughout your day to day?

Holly Kiggins 12:01

OK, well, lots. Every time I talk to someone, I feel like I learned something new. Probably don’t sweat the small stuff. So if you think about life, some of the problems that you worried about for such a long time event– Don’t even eventuate. You’re just worrying about something for nothing. You know that you just put things into perspective for you– In your own life and if something’s not a problem right now, there’s no point worrying about it, because it just puts unnecessary stress onto you. Cherish your loved ones, because especially when you, close with someone that’s in their 90s. So you can imagine how many friends and family members didn’t make it to that age. So they’ve had to say goodbye. They’ve had to go to many funerals. So cherish your loved ones while you have them and connect with them and spend time with them. That’s two big ones I’d say that I’ve– I take that with me every day.

Chantelle Ellem 13:05

Yes, life is short but life is also long, but it’s your don’t sweat that small stuff is so important.

Holly Kiggins 13:09

Yes, absolutely. In the long run, no one’s going to remember whether or not you got approved for that home loan. Lucky you eventually get approved for it. You know what I mean?

Chantelle Ellem 13:18

Yes.

Holly Kiggins 13:19

Life continues and life goes on, and always new challenges. So what’s the point of worrying about the small things, you know?

Chantelle Ellem 13:25

Yes. Even when I– Because I volunteered through in great company, when I’m telling June, who I see sometimes see weekly stuff and it seems like sometimes you’d be dismissive, but then it’s just like, it’s perspective and she is such a great reality check for me to be like, well, it’s going to be OK or just like being able to put it in to perspective and how small it is in the grand scheme of things. So yes, I love getting that little lesson from her.

Holly Kiggins 13:54

Absolutely and in the grand scheme of things, we’re talking almost 100 years of lived experience, the grand scheme is right there. That person has lived it almost an entire lifetime. So yes, it’s– That’s a great. I’m glad that she’s like, come on now. That’s not really that big of a deal. I think it is and she’s like, No, it’s not really.

Chantelle Ellem 14:13

Yes. Great little reality check. So I do see June, but I don’t have any grandparents and some people aren’t lucky enough to have grandparents either or even older Aunties or uncles in the family. How do you think more people can get involved with an older person to gather their own bits of wisdom?

Holly Kiggins 14:33

I think it’s about listening, first of all. Being willing to listen, being open to sit down and maybe find a nice place or even at home with a cup of coffee or if you go out to the beach or somewhere nice in nature like that and actually setting aside that time to not have distractions. Don’t have phones going off their friends and make that person feel important. Make them feel like you genuinely are there for them and listen and be interested. Not interesting. Everyone these days wants to be interesting. Oh, look at me on Instagram and all you know and I personally really love to be interested in what other people have to share.

I like to talk, but I also really like to listen and once you get that person’s conversation flowing, you’re going to pick up so many lessons learned in their life, tips and tricks. I get parenting advice sometimes, because I have a nine year old son and sometimes someone will say, I’ll say, oh, he’s not sleeping well. Say, oh, well, you need to get some magnesium into him, or what time is his bedtime and it’s just amazing because although, you know, things have changed but it’s so lovely that people feel that they can give their advice, and you’re listening and opening. When you ask a question, ask an open ended question.

Chantelle Ellem 15:58

Yes.

Holly Kiggins 15:59

So that the person doesn’t just say no. So try and ask questions that get information out of someone and don’t interrupt them when they’re talking. That’s a big one. You might have had an extra 40 minutes of conversation with them, if you hadn’t interrupted to say whatever was important about you. No, we’re not talking about me, well, you can talk about you but what I’m saying is, is if they’re trying to communicate something they’ve experienced, let them talk right out, give them a really good acknowledgement, like, Wow, that’s amazing. Thank you so much for telling me that and then if you want to throw in something about yourself, you can but just it’s the time. We live– We all live busy, hectic lives. Well, I know I certainly do but it’s making that time making it a special time and really listening and being there and interested.

Chantelle Ellem 16:47

Yes. Being curious and I think also making them feel important because they do have all that wisdom and I found with if my elderly neighbors, just asking them a question that I kind of half know the answer to, but allowing them to tell me the answer or tell me their view on it because allowing them to feel important, and they’ve got this life wisdom makes their day like it’s such a important thing to do. So I think that’s a way to connect with an elderly person, too.

Holly Kiggins 17:15

Yes, absolutely and it bring– It makes them feel more connected, in general, because sometimes people don’t realize that you might be the only person that week that that person has spoken to. Like if they don’t have family members at all, you know, friends, or they’re a bit isolated, and maybe they sort of withdrew a little bit, especially due to things like COVID and things. Or maybe they can’t just jump in the car and go down to the social down to the club to be social with people whenever they enjoy. That might be the only person that they’ve spoken to, you might be the only person they spoken to all week. So your interaction and you’re like time and making them feel important is very important.

____________________________________________________________________________________*Cut back to 7:27*

Chantelle Ellem 07:27

Yes, we make a lot of assumptions about older people sometimes. What are some of that you think people tend to make about older people? And what surprised you throughout your career?

Holly Kiggins 07:38

I think a lot of people assume that older people are frail, and they’re not the same person that they were in the past but I have worked with hundreds of older people and built special relationships with them and most of them are exactly the same person and their experiences and their life grew them to be that person. So they still have a lot of knowledge and wisdom and wisdom to give younger people and they might not be able to do the same things– All the same things that they did when they were younger but I’ve had a gentleman that was in his 90s, that earlier in his life, he had actually rode all around Australia on a Harley Davidson motorcycle, which is a huge trip. I think he’s done it– He’s done all of Australia once but yes and he had a little dog seat next to where he had his– Harley had a little dog seat next to it, and his little dog went on the whole trip with him and it was fascinating to see all his photos. He took photos on along the road and all the memories and he was quite sad when I first met him because he couldn’t drive anymore.

So we got him hooked up with a Feros volunteer who was able to take him out on car rides and this volunteer was a younger male and he loved cars and motorbikes as well. So, it just changed his life having that reminiscence of earlier times and it’s the same person as it was before. He still enjoys all the same thing, still achieve the same things but even just riding in the car with the wind in his hand, just enjoying talking about what he’s done. Really lovely. Yes.

Chantelle Ellem 09:22

You can almost see that visual of him just having this great time and being connecting with someone else that loves it as well. Like I think they need to– Elderly need to be seen and heard and I think that he would have been very validated in those moments with his volunteers.

Holly Kiggins 09:35

Yes.

Chantelle Ellem 09:36

And even with you listening to him and knowing, oh, this is what he needs.

Holly Kiggins 09:39

Absolutely. As soon as he started talking to me about I was like, we have to find a way to make this happen. Like he needs to be out with the wind in his hair and unfortunately, his little dog had passed away a couple of years earlier. So perhaps that also fed into that loneliness but yes, just it was beautiful and they have a very special connection, those two, the volunteer and client and still, we’re friends right up until the day that he passed. So just beautiful.

I think that a lot of people just assume that older people, they don’t want to have– They don’t want to be talked to they don’t want to contribute anymore. Like they’ve lived all their life. They’ve worked. Most people worked hard all their life and now’s like their retirement years where they don’t, they just want to like, chill down and read a book or do a crossword or something like that but it becomes quite lonely and isolating. So they absolutely love to talk. Love to talk about their lives and their experiences and yes, I think that’s another big assumption is that, Oh, Grandma will be fine. We see her once a month for a Sunday afternoon, but I personally talk to my parents every single day, because I have seen. Oh, see them every day, if I can, if I’m lucky enough but yes, I think that’s another big one.

Chantelle Ellem 11:01

Yes and not just putting grandma in the corner and just saying, Well, you just will exist over here and you just watch what happens. It’s kind of like, involve them, and they’ve got so much to add. I think that’s really important. They have such values and just being creating a platform for them to be able to talk and listen and be able to listen to them. That’s what they want, don’t they that a lot of the time just to be heard, and to be able to tell those stories, because they’ve got so many stories swimming around in their head that just need to be told so they can live– Relive them again.

Holly Kiggins 11:30

Yes, once they start talking, it’s very hard to get most people to stop, because maybe they haven’t had like a very Oh, what’s happening with work? And how are the kids? And that sort of thing. So real, like, meaningful, deep conversations is what a lot of people missing. Yes.

____________________________________________________________________________________*Cut back to 17:59 to end*

Chantelle Ellem 17:59

Yes, definitely. Can you leave us with a final word of wisdom, the best piece of advice you’ve taken from your time spent with early at Feros Care? I’m sure there’s been plenty.

Holly Kiggins 18:11

Yes, there’s really a lot but I guess the idea of when you talking to people that have lived almost 100 years, life is full of ups and downs. Ok? Can’t always be good. There’s challenges along the way and it’s a journey, OK and if you can imagine, for 100 years, the ups and downs and the challenges and the people you have to say goodbye to and then the new people, the grand great grandchildren that came along, and all the things. It’s never smooth sailing, necessarily. If you’re lucky, it might be for a while but just thinking that you get there in the end, and that everything will be OK and that life is not about materialistic things. It’s not about the new car, or home or even sometimes careers and things like that. It’s not about money. It’s about the people you connect with and the kindness that you show others, and the kindness that others give back to you and that love.

It’s– If you get to the end of your life, and you’ve had a lot of that you’ve lived a really good life and many people say that to me, they say, Well, if I go tomorrow, I’ve lived a very good life and I say, well, that’s lovely to hear and they don’t have a big fancy mansion and they don’t have a sports car in the driveway. They lived a good life because they had the love and they had the kindness and they had a connection with their family and friends. I think that’s really important. Probably the best thing that I’ve learned.

Chantelle Ellem 19:40

Yes, it’s all that really matters. Have a life full of memories and a heart full of love.

Holly Kiggins 19:45

That’s exactly it. Yes. Perfect that you should catchphrase it. It’s very good. Yes,

Chantelle Ellem 19:50

Putting that on T shirts.

Holly Kiggins 19:51

Great. I’ll buy one. Yes.

Chantelle Ellem 19:54

First in line. Thank you so much for joining us today and sharing so much wisdom that you’ve had throughout the years working with elderly. It’s been so nice to meet you.

Holly Kiggins 20:02

Yes, it’s my pleasure. Thanks for having me on.

Chantelle Ellem 20:06

Thank you.

Thank you so much, Tania, for joining us today, I’m really looking forward to having a chat, I’ve had a look at all the projects that you’ve been involved in and I’m super inspired. So let’s kick off by asking you about those unique projects that you’ve been up to. What kind of unique projects have you been involved with throughout your 10 years with Feros Care?

Tania Garland 20:39

I’ve done some of the most incredible projects during my time at Feros Care and the imagination has really run wild around how I could change the narrative around the way seniors are perceived in the community.

A couple of my programs I’m really proud of have really resonated well within the media and really created conversations nationally. A couple of those programs would be– One would be that comes to mind immediately in the early days was a program I did called Graffiti Grannies. Now, seniors often perceive street art as vandalism and there’s so much richness though to street art and so I teamed up with a local street artist at Byron Bay, who was an incredible artist and asked him would he help us change the perception around street that was seniors?

So what we did is we had the seniors participate in the program where they got to travel around in their community bus with the artists and he pointed out all his landscape artwork around on walls, in Alleyways, in tunnels around the area, and explain to them the background behind his art. Then he did the history of street art with them and then came back and did an art class with them where they got to use spray cans and paint for the very first time, they enjoyed it so much and the transition of their perception around vandalism street art just changed overnight.

We got so excited about it, we did a collaboration with a community group and we got permission to participate in the painting of an Alleyway in Byron Bay with the seniors and the youth. So here, they were beautiful graffiti grannies with these spray cans, feeling so naughty and wicked about their lives, participating in this program.

At the time, our management loved it, and they said, Oh, this is this is awesome to see, you know thing has been really challenged in this space and they said, Why don’t you have a chat to the finance director and see if they’ll let you paint the bus now? Their community bus. So it took a few very severe conversations with our finance director to work out whether we could do that but we got approval, and we then birthed a project called Pimp My Ride. So over a series of a week, residents participated with street artists in the area, and landscapes there bus. So in Byron Bay and the regions, you often see those wicked vans with messaging on them, driving around, and now that there’s was this beautiful bit of competition out there with some really strong messaging around aging. So that was one example of a great project in the early days.

Chantelle Ellem 23:18

When I watched the footage on the graffiti grannies, it just lit me up. Like I was, that was such a beautiful project and just seeing the grannies so happy and like, inspired but also just seeing things a little bit differently to how they had seen them. It’s such a great project and I was so inspired by it. So congratulations on getting that done

Tania Garland 23:42

It was great and the vibe on set was amazing as though painting. The Black Eyed Peas music was blaring, they were wearing the baseball caps backwards. They got into the, it was good.

Chantelle Ellem 23:52

They really lent into it, didn’t they? They didn’t hold back, which was really great and through your projects, you spent a lot of time with a lot of people hearing about their lives. What are some of the stories of moments that have stuck with you?

Tania Garland 24:03

Yes, I think throughout the years, I’ve got to know quite a few seniors but one thing that really struck me is when you take time out to connect with a senior, and not just have trivial conversations about the weather, and how they’re feeling, but really dig deep into their heritage and their history, there’s so much to explore. That really inspired me around a project that we wanted to run with a photographer and an artist called Katie Hooper, and it was around a project called Visible Me and what it is, is that seniors and research shows us this international research to back it up seniors feel invisible. They feel like when they walk down the street or they’re participating in community, that people see through them and they don’t see- They don’t feel like there’s any value for them in society.

So we wanted to do a project where we took a photograph of a senior. We then interviewed them and found out their love story and then we came back and did an artistic photograph of them with a different set that replicated an image or captured an image or part of their story within the next photograph and that project was an incredible insight into the depth of stories that most seniors have and what it taught, or what we wanted to teach people about that project is, this is the plain face of the senior but if you bother to look behind the wrinkles, there’s an incredible enriching story and that Visible Me really brought those stories to life, through pictures, but also through just a snippet of their life stories.

Up positioning around that campaign was that seniors should be seen and heard and they all they have such a relevance in our society and we have no right to diminish what their presence is and it’s up to us to take the steps towards leaning into their stories, finding out about them, and learning from the richness of their incredible experience that they’ve had. These guys are Oracle’s of information, they’ve been there done that, and that pathway for us, we have the opportunity to learn from them and by doing so, we save ourselves a lot of pain down the pathway.

Chantelle Ellem 26:21

I think even I’ve known this for the past decade, I’ve noticed after having kids, even at the supermarket, if you see a senior person, they do feel invisible, but if you take the time just to see them, but then even just to talk to them, that makes their day like I don’t think people realize what a difference that makes. So making them feel visible is so simple.

Tania Garland 26:42

Yes and particularly for kids, it’s not to be scared of seniors. There’s a perception that, oh, they’re wrinkly, they’re scary. They–I don’t know, they look different, they’re crouched over or they’re on a walking stick, or they have a frame and the value of them is sort of like, it’s a stereotype that a lot of kids have around seniors, and by encouraging children and youth to connect with seniors is so important.

We put a lot of emphasis on intergenerational programs to encourage that and to help overcome the barriers of connection there. We’ve done a few programs over the years one was called a ballerina, the Bold Ballerinas program, where we collaborated with a preschool and seniors the average age 85 and they learnt ballet together for the first time and each week got to perform, rehearse and then there was a little concert at the end. So that was really cool. We did something very similar with a choir where, intergenerational choir with preschoolers and seniors. So yes, the value of seniors is just so important.

Chantelle Ellem 27:50

Yes. We talked just briefly about, or you spoke just briefly about the assumptions that kids have about old people that they might be grumpy or a little bit scary. What about other assumptions have people have had about old people that you’ve heard over the years and what’s really surprised you throughout your career?

Tania Garland 28:08

Yes, there’s so many stereotypes, that they don’t know anything, that that are out of touch, that they’ve never embraced technology, that they’ve never embraced my sexuality that they just– They’re old fashioned, nothing could be further from the truth. One thing I’ve discovered is that seniors are willing to try new things and they don’t want to let an opportunity pass by. They’ve seen the introduction of television right through to now, AI is just, such a big segue, and they keep up with the times and what we’re trying to do is keep youth up with the times by not always leaning on that technology but going back to the article of information and we’re really fortunate, we had a colleague of mine who had a beautiful grandma and one day, like they used to go over every Sunday and have Sunday lunch with grandma, and all the siblings that come and the grandchildren got there one day, and I think it was one of the grandchildren might have even been Nan self just said all phones at the front door, whack them in the bowl at the front door, no one’s going to bring their phone to the dinner table.

So they had a beautiful, engaging lunch and it went on for hours and just the interactions and the conversations that took place was so deep, and so beautiful, because there wasn’t the distraction of technology and the sibling said, Oh my gosh, this is just incredible. Let’s set ourselves a challenge not to touch our phones for a week. Before reading Nan and asking Nan if she’s got advice, or she could answer us the question that we might Google, etc and they had this little challenge amongst themselves and they said, for a whole week, we have to ask Nan, not Google. OK. We’re going to ask her and not Google and when she shared this story at work, we just went Wow, imagine if that could be amplified through a program etc and yes, she was really open to that and with generously lent us that idea to be able to pilot a program with, I think about 20 schools in Queensland and through that program, the schools embraced it because it gave children a reason to have connection with seniors and even if they didn’t have a grandparent themselves, that encouraged them to reach out to other people’s grandparents or other seniors they might know in their community and the conversations that took place are really enriching.

The social benefits of a program like that are just enormous and we ended up actually getting a national grant from the government to roll it out in schools across the nation. I’m just so proud of that program because it’s opened up a two way conversation, which is so important and that Google and technology doesn’t always have the answer. There’s certainly a place for it in our worlds, everybody knows that but there’s nothing right, like human interface for real meaningful connection. Right?

Chantelle Ellem 31:07

Yes, definitely. Oh, that’s such a great initiative and what lessons have you learned from the elderly that you take with you yourself throughout the day, your day to day life?

Tania Garland 31:15

It’s such a good question, Chantelle because I get– I’m like a little grandchild, I sit at the feet just wanting to hear what wisdom that they have and over the years, I’ve met so many beautiful characters and what I really learned from the seniors that have had an impact in my life is that you need to have a go, you need to step out in faith and have a go, you need to try at least something, you need to try, at least try something once. Otherwise, you’ll never know and that–Don’t let those opportunities pass by, don’t let fear grip you and that I think just the boldness around seniors to actually step out in faith, and go, I can, and I will and I remember, there was a beautiful lady that I did a program with and she said to me that it’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years. So don’t waste a second, have a crack and I also have a very dear friend of mine and she’s 100, almost 102 and she’s a bit– Well, she– I call one of my best friends in the world and she’s a bit of a pinup girl.

For me, she’s a mentor and has had such a profound impact on my life and her name is Nina and she is one that is just, I call her an Earth Angel, because she doesn’t waste a second of her life. If you ask her, would she like to participate in some? Yes, when do I start? If she walks down the street, she won’t walk past anybody without engaging with them and those conversations that we– That she has leaves everlasting impact on people’s lives because she shows, she stops, the world stops, she makes real connection and that meaningful connection and that ability to embrace life is one of the things that really has impacted me.

I remember that a year ago, I went on one of those health retreats where you have mindfulness and then they give you big challenges and one of these challenges was I had to climb up on a harness up a telegraph pole. When I got to the top, I had to balance myself in this tiny little platform and I was at– My legs were having very close fellowship with each other as they shook and I was doing a few Hail Marys and just going, what am I doing, like, and I just feel that I can’t do it, can you just slow me down on the harness, please, I just don’t want to do it. I don’t need to prove anything to myself here and they said, do it because you will regret not doing it and I went, no I don’t think I will and then I just regrouped and took some really deep breaths.

In that moment, it just came to me that everything that Nina had taught me throughout my life will last 10 years of the impact that she had on her life and I went, what would Nina to do right now? Nina would stand up, she would take a deep breath and she would be so joyful, she would jump off that as if it was the most exciting thing. So I did it. For me, that’s a bit of a match that I have in my head, what would she do? And she’s one of those people that her favorite saying is why walks through life when you can dance. So that really exemplifies her living and her joy and she is and she lived that, right? You know she has lived every day to that and she will just– She’ll finish every conversation with “Have a great day” and “Don’t walk through life when you can dance.”

Chantelle Ellem 35:00

What a beautiful motto. I love with elderly that they kind of stripped back of that self-consciousness or that self-doubt where it’s like, it’s life’s too short and I really appreciate that I volunteer through in great company. I see that with June, who I spend time with as well and it’s like, life is too short and it’s, yes, there’s no self-doubt or that kind of worry. So it’s what would Nina do would be my motto moving forward.

Tania Garland 35:00

What would she do?

Chantelle Ellem 35:06

Yes, and not everyone’s lucky enough to have grandparents. I don’t have any grandparents left and my kids have lost two of their grandparents already but these elderly people have great wisdom to share. How do you think people can get involved with older people to gather wisdom if they don’t have grandparents of their own?

Tania Garland 35:46

Yes, great– Really great question Chantelle. I lost my grandparents many years ago as well and that left a real void and I think that’s why moving into aged care 10 years ago, for me. I just had a natural affinity with seniors, because I craved the connection and I guess that wealth of experience that seniors had, so I was fortunate enough to end up with a job in aged care but for other people, there’s so many great ways that you can– Like if you’re in a neighborhood, and you know that perhaps a senior person is living by themselves, or that perhaps they may have recently lost a partner, I just really challenge you to just make an effort to reach out and connect.

There are so many beautiful programs where you can actually adopt a grandparent. I know you’ve recently– Well you’re one of the one of our very proactive volunteers who makes time out of your busy calendar to have a date day with a senior and if you don’t think that’s not my jam, there’s other ways that you can participate in programs.

One of the programs that I volunteer in outside of work is that on a cycling with age, I like being outdoors, and I like being on a bicycle. So actually, I’m roistered on tomorrow. Tomorrow, yes, I go down to an aged care facility and we put a couple of seniors on the front of the track and I pedal the track around the foreshores of Kings Cliff. So there’s a roster of professional people that have really busy lives in my community, but they give up three hours every six weeks just to do that and people go are such a good thing that you do and I know, I’m the benefit– Beneficiary of this.

The joy it gives me to be outdoors to be with seniors singing in the front seat and they sing beautiful songs in the front seat when it’s a long way to Tipperary or whatever, we all have a sing along, people move out of the street to make waves because it just it lights up them. They’re not even volunteers, but it lights up them to see seniors so honored and so looked after and often at a time when we’re out in the bikes, people stop us and say, how can I participate in that?

So that’s a great program, a great charity, called Cycling Without Age. So if, you know, find out what interests you, and then find a way to connect, you know, it might be craft, it might be the great outdoors, it might be, there’s just so many great programs out there, but just do it. People put things off like this all the time and you will be surprised the connection that you will get with a senior and that whilst it’s a nice thing to be doing, what you get in return is just incredible.

Chantelle Ellem 38:47

Yes, I think that’s what we forget that there’s so much to gain from these experiences as well, which is what I love, it kind of feels almost selfish. They were like, Why would you do that? Why would you spend time doing that? But it’s like, I get so much from it. That’s why I do it. OK, I love it. So it’s, it goes both ways.

Tania Garland 39:01

It fills your cup, doesn’t it?

Chantelle Ellem 39:03

Yes, definitely. So you’ve spoken with a lot of elderly people over your years, can you leave us with the best piece of wisdom you’ve taken from your time spent with the elderly at Feros Care?

Tania Garland 39:13

Yes, sure. I ran a program many years ago, we’re asking people to supplies their pearls of wisdom and again, it was just about really just wanting to learn from seniors that have been there, done that and to perhaps bestow us wisdom because we– Often I feel like the blind leading the blind and I look to them for a bit of guidance around you know, how to live your best life and I think the standout pearl of wisdom that was delivered in that program was around that life is 10% of what happens to you but 90% is that how you respond to it. So health, wealth, family dramas, all of that, you know, It is all but 10% about what it happens. There’s a good thing around, it happens. It doesn’t happen that 10% We can’t control but how we control,. The 90% of how we respond to it really determines the sort of life that we have and for me, I think that is some of the best life advice to live by.

Chantelle Ellem 40:24

I agree. So important, is it because we can wallow in that 10% so often, and it’s like, the 90% is what matters. Thank you so much for joining me today. I’m so inspired by you and yesterday, when I was looking at the projects you’ve been part of I just was like, I want to be part of this. It’s like everything you do is just so great, and just thinks outside the box and treats elderly with such respect and gives them such a voice. So thank you so much for all that you do.

Tania Garland 40:49

Thanks, Chantelle, thanks for the platform to be able to spread a bit of love to our seniors and a community and yes, I just, I love what you’re doing and I love the fact that you just don’t talk about it that you’re actually proactively involved in trying to change the trajectory for one thing at a time so that on you, thanks for having me today.

Chantelle Ellem 41:10

Thank you.

Thank you so much for joining us on today’s episode of Unsaid, Untold. You can find more of Feros Cares projects at feroscare.com that are you, including films, exhibits and events featuring the wisdom of some of life’s very clever people. See you next time.

Disclaimer: The content and views discussed in Feros Talks podcast episode are those of the individuals involved. They are not necessarily condoned by, or, are the views of Feros Care or its employees.