You have time to volunteer - even if you think you don't

Transcript

Chantelle Ellem 00:21

Welcome to Season One of Feros talks Unsaid, Untold. I’m Chantelle Ellem, also known as Fat Mum Slim. In collaboration with aged care and disability service provider, Feros Care.

We’re here to tell the stories no one else tells, give space to the people who haven’t previously been heard. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable. And sometimes it’s even controversial, but it’s always passionate, interesting and ready to unravel a fresh conversation, shifting the way we see diversity and inclusion in Australia.

There are a million reasons to volunteer, it gives back to our communities. It can broaden your social skills, personal networks and professional skills. It’s even linked to economic and health benefits for the entire country. As Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” But volunteering has its limits. Pre-COVID, one in three Australians used to take part in some kind of volunteer work. Now, that sadly dropped to one in four.

In fact, over time since 2008, statistics of volunteering have been steadily decreasing. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare puts it down to one thing, Aussies have less time. Less time for recreation, less time for leisure, and certainly less time for social and community interaction. I used to be one of those people, I thought I didn’t have time to volunteer. And when I mentioned it to my husband that I was looking at volunteering, and he said the exact same thing between juggling three businesses, a family and one kid who needs a bit of extra time for appointments each week, wasn’t I too busy. It turns out I wasn’t.

And for today’s episode of Unsaid, Untold. I’m the one in the hot seat, being interviewed by Feros Care’s Content Manager Natalia, later in the episode we’ll also speak to volunteer Nick, and everything he’s gotten out of his time in the community with the wonderful Shirley. But first, I’m up and here we go. Hello, this feels weird.

Natalia 02:24

I know, this is how we’re flipping it around, usually I’m behind the…

Chantelle Ellem 02:28

I’m really excited about it, though. Excited share my story.

Natalia 02:33

Excellent. And as mentioned in your intro, you’re a very busy lady. Can you tell us a little bit about what you do outside of this podcast?

Chantelle Ellem 02:39

Yes, I can add the podcast to the mix as well. And I have a plus sized clothing line. I run Fat Mum Slim, which is my website and social site, which I’ve been doing for nearly 15 years, which keeps me busy. And I also run social media for other clients as well. So, my plate is quite full.

Natalia 03:00

Absolutely. And then outside of work, you’ve got a family.

Chantelle Ellem 03:03

Forgot about the other work stuff. So, I have two daughters. I’m also married. I’ve got two dogs. So, I’ve got a nine year old daughter, Lulu and a 14 year old daughter, Lacey who has inattentive ADHD and other little quirks that go with that.

Natalia 03:17

Yes, right. So, keeps you busy. It’s a very busy life. So, what made you go, you know what, there’s not enough for me. Let’s add volunteering into the mix.

Chantelle Ellem 03:28

It’s a very personal story. And it’s a little bit sad. But the context is needed to tell the story. So, last year was like the toughest year of our lives. So, my eldest daughter was getting relentlessly bullied and we changed schools. And I thought that would be like, we’d have a better time at the new school. And it kind of got worse. And she just was really struggling. And there was a bully that was just so relentless, that I felt really powerless. And it just felt so big in my life, there was nothing that I could do to make her safe. Like, I’d gone to the principal, we’d had so many meetings, and I’d even gone to the police.

And I just felt so powerless, and I was having burnout from being a carer and just not being able to get her help or get make things better. And I learned through therapy, that was also my trauma response from stuff that happened to me as a kid that I was trying to keep her safe. And I just couldn’t like, everything was against us. So, I was having burnout. And I just was like, I need to make this smaller because it felt so big. And because I couldn’t fix it. I was like, what else can I do? And then, I saw in a Facebook group, someone from In Great Company put up a call out for needing volunteers and I felt called to what I felt like this is, what I want to do. So, I answered and I wasn’t, I felt like is this the wrong thing?

So, I’m going to be so busy, but in my gut, I just knew that it would help me like you know, you just know that something’s going to help. So, that’s kind of where I went from there. But I’ve always volunteered like I was feeding the homeless off my own back on a Saturday morning, I’d go out and buy bacon and egg burgers and go feed homeless people in Cooley and Tweed. But that wasn’t financially viable to keep doing. So, I felt like this was it. And I just wanted to see what happened from here.

Natalia 05:17

Yes. And, you know, you’d had experience working with the homeless, was there something that drew you towards elderly people in particular, like a personal history or connection with them?

Chantelle Ellem 05:27

I don’t have any grandparents left. Because I lost them at such a young age, I just felt like there was stories that I wanted to hear from them. And I would love to be able to tell my own grandparents story. So, I think, there was that lacking in my life. I care for our elderly neighbours, not in an official sense or anything like that. But I helped them all the time, I was checking in on them. And I love that part of it. And when I go shopping, I’ll see elderly people that I can see this yearning for them to be seen and to be acknowledged by people. And I know that when I just smile at them, and then, they start a conversation, they love that. And I thought, maybe I could do that in a more official sense. And so that’s what, when I saw that Ad, it made me think, yes, that maybe, this is it.

Natalia 06:08

Yes, absolutely. And what was the process from that ad? What happened next?

Chantelle Ellem 06:13

So, I respond. I think, there was a link, and I probably put in my details there. So, that was that day, that I saw that Ad. And then the next day, I got a call from a lady named, Brenda. And it was such a beautiful chat just about what they did In Great Company and what it looked like and there was just this constant check in, is it still for you? How do you feel about it? And I loved that caring from her, she was caring for me to see, if that was going to fit. And it did. I felt like yes, I’m keen. Let’s move forward. So, that was the next step.

And then, in her mind, she had already found someone that she thought might be a great fit for me. So, that excited me, it’s like, wow, she can tell who’s going to suit me. And then, from there, I’d had to do police checks and just a few background checks for the safety of everybody. And then, I had an orientation type phone call. So, just over Skype and just with a group of other volunteers and just got to know the process.

And we watched some great videos of how volunteering helps people and not just the person that you’re volunteering with, but how does it help the volunteer as well. So, that got me excited. I just could not wait to get the details of my person. I was like Hurry up and give it to me it felt like, I cannot wait to meet this person. I was so excited. And so that was the next step off, the final say, I think it took about two weeks. I got the details of my person. And the next step is just to give them a phone call. And save your date and then set up a date to start seeing them.

Natalia  07:35

It is like dating.

Chantelle Ellem 07:36

Nerve racking. It was in a sense, but as soon as I spoke to June on the phone, like she’s a chatter. I was like, Oh, this is like, I love her. I think this is going to be great. And then, Brenda had told me, she loves football. And just a few things was like, I’ve got this, like, my husband loves football. So, I know the basics. And like, I can talk to her about anything. So, what I had pictured in my head to who she was, was so different to who it was, when I got there. Like, I was expecting a teeny little old lady. It wasn’t that at all. So, it was funny the preconceived ideas we have.

Natalia 08:09

And what was your first meeting like, you turned up and…

Chantelle Ellem 08:14

She just feels like a hug. So, I just I turned up and I won’t deny that I did have butterflies like, what if she doesn’t like me. But then as soon as I was in her presence, it was like it felt like home. She’s just so beautiful and so loving. And I just made it all about her that first trip, I took her a bunch of flowers, and she had got her daughter to buy cake. So, then, we had some cake together. And I love that I cut her a slice of cake. And then, she was like, let’s have more and like I’m big fan of cake. So, I was like, yes, she’s my girl.

Natalia 08:46

Yes, these are my favourite.

Chantelle Ellem 08:47

Yes. And she just like, I think, in the first few minutes, she held my hand and walk me to her bedroom. She showed me a photo from her wedding. And my grandma I just remember having really smooth and soft hands. And it was that same kind of feeling. It just felt like home and just seeing her face light up being able to tell the stories of her life for the first time again, like there’s magic in that telling the story of how she met her husband. She just lit up and I was like, this is such a great experience and great that I could help her feel that love and excitement again.

Natalia 09:16

It’s such a privilege to hear such beautiful stories.

Chantelle Ellem 09:22

Yes, I’ll be the person that gets to hear that. And it’s such a privilege and such an honour.

Natalia 09:25

Yes, that’s beautiful.

Chantelle Ellem 09:27

Yes, so lucky.

Natalia 09:28

And what have you done, since like, how often do you see June now?

Chantelle Ellem 09:31

So, I see her once a week and sometimes it can be for just an hour depending on how she’s feeling. Sometimes, we just get caught in the moment, we’ll go for three hours. Most volunteers will go and do something with their elderly person. So, our goal was always to go and have a seafood lunch. So, sadly, June has heart failure. So, she’s not feeling that great a lot of the time. We did make it to lunch and had seafood once and she just loved that. And every week she says, next week we’re going again, but I said, to her take the pressure off. Like, I love just sitting here and talking to you. And, that’s what it is for me, like, I’m really happy. But if you’re up for it, let’s go. So, every week, I just show up. And I’m there for her to hear her stories. And just to catch up, and she asked me, how I am. So, it’s a nice little touch base kind of session with each other, just to see how everyone’s going.

Natalia 10:20

Yes. And once a week is quite frequent. How do you find fitting that into your schedule? Or is it just something that you prioritise now?

Chantelle Ellem 10:28

Yes, it’s a non negotiable, like my life is built around that. So, if you can, if you want to be a volunteer, you can do less. So, you could do once, every two weeks or whatever works for you. Like, it’s just important that you don’t overextend yourself. So, some weeks from busy, I might say, to her, have only got an hour like or, but I just really do make it a priority like, I don’t mind getting up early, like I get up at 4:30 most days. So, I’ll just get my work done then, knowing that I get to have that time of June later on, because she doesn’t only benefit from it. I do too. So, if I don’t go, I miss out on that. So, I want to do it. So, yes, it is a priority for me.

Natalia 11:07

Yes, absolutely. And, you know, you told this beautiful story at the beginning about why you got into volunteering and why you felt called to it. Do you know now based on what you’ve gotten out of it, why you were called?

Chantelle Ellem 11:20

Yes, I definitely think, she has changed my life like, I that wish for her to make what my problems feel smaller because some days, I’ll be driving there and I was thinking, you know, might think I’ve got no time for this, or I’ll be carrying my own worries. But as soon as I get there, the pace slows down. And I walk away a different person. So, there’s so much to take from the experience. But that’s my big thing. The pace has slowed down. And, she’s got so much parenting wisdom as well. And when I tell her, what I’m worrying about, she will offer her advice or just listen to me, like having a good listener in your life is such a gift. So, I’m that listener for her and she’s the same for me.

Natalia 12:04

Absolutely. It’s funny in my role, working for content in Feros Care, I speak to elderly people all the time. And even if it’s nothing to do with the conversation, I always go, what’s your piece of wisdom you think I should take away, I’m like trying to gather. And it’s so interesting, the perspective they have, things like, I can be so caught up in something and think this is huge. And yet, I feel like the most consistent thing I hear is just stress less. Like, it all comes out in the wash sort of thing, while something might feel absolutely insurmountable.

Like, there’s hopefully a long life ahead of you full of different challenges, but also different beautiful moments and different incredible things. And, you know, you do walk away and you’re kind of like, alright, well, you know, things are a little bit more put in perspective.

Chantelle Ellem 12:59

Yes, that’s the thing perspective, isn’t it? Like it? In the grand scheme of things. It’s quite small. Like, you have to validate those feelings. You’re feeling that, but let’s look at the big picture. It will be okay. And it will pass and it will be a fleeting moment in your life. But that’s a good gift from them.

Natalia 13:14

Yes, absolutely. And what do you think June has gotten out of it in return?

Chantelle Ellem 13:20

Just feeling heard. She just loves it like just to be to be heard and to be cared about. Like, I can just see her face light up and she’s just so much happier. She does have a lot of carers, Feros Care, so she does have relationships with people that come and visit and drop food to her. But that is constant. I’m not there to be paid or to do a role. I’m just there to be company for her.

So, she says, that I’m like the daughter that she never had, like not to take away from any experience that from her own children, but just it’s a nice little bond that we have. So, I can see that companionship means the world to her and that she can just talk about anything. She loves listening to John laws. So, she gives me the download on what’s been happening, what people are talking about. So yes, it’s just good companionship and friendship.

Natalia 14:09

Yes, absolutely. That’s beautiful. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your time with June?

Chantelle Ellem 14:17

It would be to slow down. Because I am on the go person. I like to be busy. I like to be doing lots of things. So, being with her is that different pace and just to slow down, but also to not pigeonhole elderly people like, she’s so open minded. And so I just love that, anything that I talked to her about, she does it. She’s not narrow minded, in how she thinks and she’s so beautifully open minded. And it’s so refreshing. And it’s nice too, I think, we sometimes think the elderly are so one track mind thinking about things and just so old school and she’s so nice, and I’ve realized that with a lot of people, even to talk to me to people in this podcast that’s not the way so, it’s nice to her, to reshape, how I think as well.

Natalia 15:05

Absolutely. Because if you don’t spend a lot of time with elderly people, which a great majority of us don’t, really, it’s easy to think that they’re all a certain way. You know, they have a certain outlook on life.

Chantelle Ellem 15:16

Yes. And both my grandparents, grandma’s, both had dementia and late in their life. So, to have a friend who’s 83, who’s super sharp, super smart, and opinionated, but also open minded. That’s a real gift. Like, I didn’t have that with my parents, my grandparents as they aged, and then, passed away. So, this is great. Like, I’m so lucky.

Natalia 15:40

Absolutely. Yes, it’s cool at Feros. We’ve done a program called “Ask Gran not Google” through schools. So, it’s this thing, instead of going straight to Google, you go to Gran first.

Chantelle Ellem 15:52

I love that.

Natalia 15:53

Not just your grandma, like an elderly person in your community. And it’s trying to bring these generations together, because I think, a lot of people are fearful of ageing, or fearful of getting older or, you know, whatever that might mean for them. So, it’s really cool. Whether it’s like a pasta recipe, or whether it’s parenting advice, like actually getting through and going, you know, what, we have these people in front of us who have years, have incredible things to share, and why aren’t we checking in with them instead of going straight to our Facebook group?

Chantelle Ellem 16:25

It has purpose for them, because they, they were everything, they were the decision makers, and suddenly they’re being cared for. And that’s a real challenging position for them to be in. So, to check in with them and ask questions. It feels like they’ve got this purpose. And they take pride in that. So, it is so important. It’s so much more than just asking that question. There’s this flow on effect, they’ll walk away with a bit, you know, shoulders held high and feeling good about themselves, too.

Natalia 16:45

Yes, that’s exactly it. And speaking of feeling good about yourselves, do you think, yourself volunteering had positive impacts on the rest of your family or your community, like, your kids seeing you volunteering, putting that first, for example?

Chantelle Ellem 16:59

Yes, that’s been one of the most important things that my kids see that I make time for other people. They have met June and they love her as well. And she always wants to hear about them. So, the flow on effect is, June is now part of our lives. You know, whenever, I come home from a session, we have time with June, I will ask how’s June like, we all want to know how she is. So, she is a part of our lives. My kids don’t have grandparents on my husband’s side, so that they also have less elderly people in their life as well.

So, now that they’ve got her, that’s great as well, someone to care for. But I think, they’ll take that into the life like mum made time for that, like, I’ll make time for that, too. I think, that has flowed on and even friends will ask about it as well. So, there is a nice little flow on effect that people see. Oh, she can fit it in. Maybe I can, too. So, let’s see what happens.

Natalia 17:49

Yes, absolutely. And what would you say, to people who reckon they don’t have time?

Chantelle Ellem 17:57

I think, it’s scary. Like, I was talking to someone yesterday, because I also volunteer at Netball and I’m the Registrar for the Netball club. And that we were talking about the canteen, how you volunteer at the canteen, and you get trapped in there and no one ever relieves you and you’re stuck in there for hours. Like, I’m never volunteering again, this is so horrible. And I think, that’s the feel, like I can’t do it, they will get me and I’ll never get to get out. But with In Great Company, for example. You get to control that, you set the boundaries, how often do you want to do it, and how for how long. So, if you wanted to do an hour, every second Sunday, that would be fine, too. So, it’s just helping people. Something is better than nothing.

And it doesn’t have to look like what you think. It looks like I think, it can be, you get to shape it, and it can look how you want it to look. But also, there is something for you in it too. Like, you think, you’re just going to be in a world where it’s so maxed out that you don’t have any time, you think I’m just going to keep giving to this person. And it’s not, I walk away with something, every single time a better person. So, not because I’ve given but because my conversation with you and I’ve learned something or she’s taught me something through our conversation. So, I’ve got more out of it than I’ve given for sure.

Natalia 19:10

Yes absolutely. And I think, it’s so true. Like, you know, we’ve spoken in previous podcast episodes about how the world is getting more stressed, you know, people as a whole Australians as a whole are more stressed out because cost of living has gone up, you know, people are having to get second jobs like, all the rest of it, they simply don’t have the capacity that maybe they used to. And it’s very understandable. But I think, what you say, about getting as much out of it as you give like, you don’t necessarily get that from a paid work environment all the time.

Chantelle Ellem 19:40

No, I think that’s right. And I think sadly, there’ll be less volunteering. As we get more stressed and demands a higher like, you’ll probably feel that time with making money and maybe doing a second job or something. And so that just makes me feel really sad, that these people do need too, you know, company and support and I just think we need to go back too, you can control what that looks like. And it can be the shorter time, if you need it to be like, they would so appreciate whatever you had to offer. And there’s also I will say, that you are never stuck as well, if someone isn’t the right person, you can say, Hey, this isn’t the right fit. And the team will handle that really gently with the elderly, and they’ll find someone that fits better with them. So, it’s not like, you’re going to be stuck with someone that you don’t deal with. You get time to just figure it out, and then come back and decide how you feel.

Natalia 20:30

Absolutely. Because it’s not personal. Right. Like sometimes, you know, I know they do it a lot based on interests. So you know, maybe someone really loves to play cards, and you don’t know how to play that card game.

Chantelle Ellem 20:41

Just, like not going to work.

Natalia 20:42

You know, it’s just not really going to work. It’s the same as finding friends in the real world. Like you tend to go with people who meet your interests.

Chantelle Ellem 20:48

So, they’re very good at doing that and matching the right person with the right volunteer.

Natalia 20:52

Yes, that’s fantastic. Is there any final message you want to share about your volunteering experience with In Great company?

Chantelle Ellem 21:00

I’m, like, Thank you to In Great Company for existing, I think, that would be my first thing. And then, to anyone listening. Try it out. I just think, it’s one of the best things, I’ve ever done. It will be part of my life forever more. And even if you just tried it out for six months, and just gave it a go. I think, you’d be surprised. You don’t have to commit forever. Like, I do want to do it forever. But if you just want to give it a try and just see how it goes. Definitely worth it.

Natalia 21:27

Yes, absolutely. Just lights up your heart.

Chantelle Ellem 21:31

Yes, it does such a great thing.

Natalia 21:33

Thank you so much Chantelle.

Chantelle Ellem 21:34

Thanks for having me. Thank you so much.

Natalia 21:38

It’s been fantastic. And I look forward to hearing some more volunteering stories. Through the rest of this podcast, we have some amazing ones come through, as you mentioned.

Chantelle Ellem 21:47

Yes. Can’t wait to hear them too.

Next up, we’re chatting with Nick, who volunteers with In Great Company who gets up to some amazing adventures with Shirley. Nick, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Nick 22:20

Hi, Chantelle. And thanks very much for having me on. Well, I am actually a native kiwi, moved to Australia in 1999. And have enjoyed living here. I’ve lived abroad for a few years, traveling with my girlfriend at the time, and now wife. And we now live here in Brisbane. And we have three beautiful girls that are in high school.

Chantelle Ellem 22:48

So, I have to admit, I’m an volunteer for In Great Company as well. And I’m part of our Facebook group, where all the volunteers are. And I get to see some pretty fun things that you can surely get up to. So, I’d love to know what made you want to start as a volunteer.

Nick 22:59

Well, I was actually, still am looking for some work and actually using one of the jobs sites, Seek and an advert came up it said, why not volunteer and I clicked on that. Obviously, being vulnerable at the time. And the rest is really history, you know, put it filled in my details and I believe, I got a call from Sue O’Toole, is one of the local matchmakers and did the training and before you know it. I was in the living room of Shirley, my client.

Chantelle Ellem 23:38

Happy little matchup. And was there anything that made you want to work with or volunteer with elderly people in particular?

Nick 23:46

No, actually, to be honest, I didn’t have any really idea or expectations of what was going to be involved. Obviously, you know, when you’re thinking about volunteering, it’s always in the back of your mind. It’s that something that I’d love to do, when I’ve got more time or perhaps when I’m semi-retired. And probably that’s how I feel at the moment not working. But you know, when you think, that you’ve got more time on your hands, or that’s something that sounds nice to do. And I guess, you know, I didn’t actually think too much about it at the time. And you know, certainly with on the side of the community volunteering, I had no idea about whether it was going to be someone with you know, that needed assistance in shopping or with a younger person or older person. For me, it was just a blind faith, leap of faith but you know, it’s been a great journey. And I’ve really enjoyed getting to know surely my client and yes being nothing but impressed with Feros as well as helping to bridge the gap and, you know, find people and match people all around Australia.

Chantelle Ellem 24:56

And how did that process work for you, how you went from answering the ad and what were the next step, you had that phone call. And then, what happened?

Nick 25:02

I think, look, there was a very simple police check that was done. And then, there was an online training session with other like-minded people that wanted to give volunteering a go. I think, it was about 20 of us at the time, up and down the eastern seaboard. And once we completed that, you know, I received a little booklet that sort of explained the do’s and don’ts of what we needed to do. And, then I got a call from Sue, and she said, Look, this is who we’ve matched you up with, here’s the number, give her a call, and you know, organize things as you see fit. And just keep us in the loop. I mean, it’s really that simple.

Chantelle Ellem 25:46

I was very similar to you. I just was like, so a call out for it, I thought, well, I’ll just do it, not really knowing what it would involve. And then, it just organically happened. And it just was great. But it’s kind of like you just jump and the net will appear and whatever will happen, will happen, which is really nice.

Nick 26:01

Yes. I certainly didn’t overthink it. Causing a huge amount of thought in it. But, you know, I’m glad, you know, it’s probably been more spontaneous thing for me to do. And I have no regrets in doing it.

Chantelle Ellem 26:19

And what was that first meeting? Like with Shirley? Was it, you know, were your nerve wrapped or a little bit anxious?

Nick 26:27

For me? No, I mean, personally, I’m you know, probably an extrovert. So, you know, meeting up with Shirley, our first for the phone call, I just ask things that she liked doing. And you know, what was she into and a little bit about herself, and she gave me her address, and then, I was over there with a packet of Tim Tams or some biscuits, and we got stuck into those, and had a cup of tea. And, you know, it was just lovely to sit across the table from someone, un-interrupted from anything else, and have a genuine conversation of engaging where you are face to face with them. And, you know, you have to lower your guard, share something about yourself, that’s, you know, make yourself vulnerable. And, you know, open up and I think, it’s setting that foundation for an open, honest conversation. And, you know, obviously, as people build trust and rapport, they’ll open up more and more. And, you know, we never looked back, and we sort of set up a bit of a routine as well. And we’ve sort of kept to that, which has helped us, I’m sure lots of other people and volunteers will work out their own cadence and how they like to communicate, whether it be by phone or you know, in face, in person meetings. Everyone will be different. And you just work out what works for you.

Chantelle Ellem 27:49

And so how often are you going to see Shirley now? And what sort of things do you like to do together? Because I know you’ve done a lot of different things. And I’d love to hear about what you’re doing and what your favourite experience has been so far.

Nick 27:59

Yes. Look, I actually spend a little bit of time thinking about what we can do. And that’s mostly, you know, having our first couple of meetings and understanding a little bit about Shirley’s childhood, and then obviously, raising, she’s got three adult kids, and grandkids. And, you know, what did she do, when she was younger? You know, when she was a single lady, and then, when she made her late husband, Ernie, finding out the things that she was passionate about, and, you know, are those things that she still does.

So, you know, for me, she described that she really enjoyed going away camping with her dad, you know, time at the beach, going fishing, visiting the beach, eating fish and chips, and, you know, visiting a few special sites, in and around Brisbane, and we don’t live far away. And so, you know, I made a mental note of the things that were special for her. And, you know, some of those things she hadn’t done for 10, 15, some of them 50 years. And so for me, it was simply about trying to re-create some of those special experiences. And to bring back some of those memories, things that she may have lost touch with or places she hadn’t been for a long time. And if I can provide that link, then, it makes those occasions so you know, we’ve done fishing, we’re eating fish and chips.

You know it, some special places we’ve been watching. She’s a big fan of ballroom dancing, and we went to a ballroom dancing tournament. I never thought, I’d go boring to watch a ballroom dancing tournament. It was actually quite neat. And I took my youngest daughter as well. And so, that’s how, I was sort of based, it is to try and re-create some of those special things that she’s had in her life in the past and bring those memory backs and she ended up you know. She is so grateful, she would be grateful, if I took her down the road to the local supermarket, but those are the things that she really relishes.

Chantelle Ellem 30:08

I think, your process has been so thoughtful. Like, that’s such a beautiful way to think about it with June, who I visit with, you can see those things that matter, when their face lights up, and they love talking about them. So, I can see that would be the same as surely that would bring up great memories for her. What kind of impact do you think your visits with Shirley have left with her?

Nick 30:29

Well, you know, she’s always grateful to see me and hear from me. So, we do a week about so, I try and organize a trip every two or three weeks to out somewhere, in the community as I described. And then, I also sort of follow up with a phone call as well. And you know, on each of those occasions, she always thanks me, she’s so humble. And it’s amazing actually like that, just something that’s so trivial. You know, for me, you know, she’s 10 minutes away, and an hour out of my time, or it might be a couple of hours to just go to a landmark and to look at and she’s, you know, buzzing.

And next time, I speak to her on the phone. You know, she’s told everyone on the street, told all their kids and carers and so forth. All this is what I did. And you know, that’s nice. You know, that I know that I’m making a difference to her and lifting her spirit. You know, when she’s going on to tell other people, you know, what the things that she got up to that week?

Chantelle Ellem 31:38

Yes, I can see that smile on her face. Actually, when I’m looking. When, I think, about the pictures I’ve seen in the group, it definitely made a difference. I can just see the joy in her face. And then, I guess what about you? What’s the biggest lesson, you’ve learned from your time with Shirley?

Nick 31:52

Look, I think, it’s changing. You know, one of the thing really is to think about them, to put your client first, I know that. You know, we all want something out of this. And I’m actually getting it from the simple things of bringing joy to somebody else. So, that would certainly be one thing, learning, you know, the art of listening and I mean, un-interrupted listening and you know, without distractions of all the trappings of modern day life, you know, the TV or phone or things like that, and just sitting down and listening to tell you about things, I think, I’ve really enjoyed that.

It’s been almost a bit of a lost art for myself personally. Because we are also busy, you know, with everyday things and getting caught up with probably a lot of trivia type or trivial type things. So, that’s been wonderful to re-engage. I also had to clean my car more regularly, because it gets pretty grubby quickly with my three girls, with all their sports and everything else. So, I’m out there, the night before vacuuming my car, because she thinks, it’s a Limousine. It’s always so clean. But surely, if you ever listen to this, my car is just trashed through every other day apart from when I’m out with you. So, my car gets a bit of a clean as well.

Chantelle Ellem 33:23

That’s so familiar for me too. I’m doing that last minute clean before they get in the car to make them think, I live like this all the time. I think, your story is so inspirational. And I hope that others can take away from it and get excited about volunteering because it is such a fun project to be part of, like, I love it being part of my life. It will always be part of my life, I think and I’ve loved hearing your story. So, thanks for joining us today and talking about your experience with Shirley.

Nick 33:50

Thanks very much for having me on.

Chantelle Ellem 33:51

Thank you so much.

In Great Company is a joint venture powered by Feros Care and Aspire4Life. It’s funded by the Australian Government Department of Health and aged care. Under the community visitors scheme CVS, a free service available to aged care residential or home care recipients who are socially isolated or lonely and don’t have regular contact with friends or relatives. Find out more feroscare.com.au and catch you next time on Unsaid, Untold.

Disclaimer: The content and views discussed in Feros Talks podcast episode are those of the individuals involved. They are not necessarily condoned by, or, are the views of Feros Care or its employees.